Rewind #32: But Even If He Doesn't...

Original air date: 13Dec2010

Well here we are, on the eve of the big day! Tomorrow, December 14, 2010, is a date which will live in infamy. I will call it “H Day,” because it’s the day of my complete hysterectomy. Wow! Here it is, at midnight, and before I know it I will be down at the hospital and then all done with surgery ... it’s funny how life moves that fast. Then right around the corner I’ll be telling people, “I remember when I had that surgery, back in my early 30’s ...” The days are fleeting, and there are no guarantees in this game! Well, at least not as far as time is concerned. Really, I’m not even promised tomorrow morning.

On one hand, deciding on this surgery was fairly easy: there weren’t many other options. We’ve tried most anything we could think of, and what was always “too drastic to consider yet” is now Plan A. One of the things that makes this difficult, though, is walking the line between having all my hopes & prayers for a “cure” (ie. remission,) or at least a drastic reduction in symptoms for both the Endometriosis and Behçet’s Disease, all resting on this surgery - and then not being devastated if it does not work out that way. I guess the bottom line is to have the kind of faith that would not only sustain me in a time like that, but actually serve to bring me closer to the Lord. There are SO many examples of that kind of faith in the Bible, and they are such an inspiration to me. Of course I think of the apostle Paul who had a “thorn in his flesh” that he repeatedly prayed that God would remove. Paul is blunt and says that God said “no.” Why? Because of the exceeding greatness of the revelations that would be given to Paul, there was given to him a “messenger of Satan” to torment him. Translation: God kept Paul humble! One of the quickest things I learned when my health failed was how little control we truly have over our health. We all think if we eat enough salad and walk around the block on a biannual basis we should live to be 100. But in reality, any day of the week we could look down and find a little spot on our skin, and our lives just changed. So yes, my health challenges has definitely served to keep my humble! Besides, if we were all strong and independant and - as the world views it - a “self-made man,” where would the room be for glorifying God? Who would see my good works and glorify my Father in heaven, if everyone just naturally assumed *I* was capable of doing that?? No one. Everyone would tell me, “well done!” and that would be the end of it. But God is glorified when we do great things through and for him in spite of our weaknesses -- so let me have the attitude of Paul and say, “Most gladly therefore I will boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Cor 12:9-10) 

As far as the outcome of this surgery goes, I of course pray for it to be successful in helping to heal me. However, if I rest all of my hope on only that outcome I may miss the blessings of what God will be doing through me if He decides to answer my prayer any other way. Who’s to say who I should meet, how I might share Christ, and what I might do with my life if I continue with my current condition? That might be where He needs me. Paul did some pretty important work while locked up in a prison! In fact, it can be our attitude during the toughest times that has the biggest influence on people - such as the prophet Daniel’s buddies, Shadrach, Meshack & Abednago. Someone twisted the law in order to make the king throw them into a furnace of fire heated 7 times its regular temperature for not worshipping the king’s false gods. Yikes! As the guys were being walked to the fire, this is what they said to the king: “Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image you have set up.” Wow!!! I bet that’s not the average spare-my-life speech the king heard! But what a great example for me. For us. Let my heart always joyfully say:

My God is fully capable of delivering me, of healing me, and of rescuing me - and He *will* deliver me! But even if He does not, I will not cease to praise His name.
Amen!!