The View From The Foot Of The Cross

The cross. 

The cross of our Lord is a beautiful thing.

The cross of Christ is the epitome of self-sacrifice and selfless love; it is the model for all time of what it looks like to love so much and so deep that there is no price you wouldn’t pay for that love.

In the cross is hope, and in the cross is peace. The cross of Christ is polished 18-karat gold set with brilliantly faceted diamonds, and is ushered in with a triumphal entry. It shines with the love of a Father who would pay a dear price now for a reward yet to come in eternity future; it glitters with the precious stones of a victor’s crown, and it twinkles with the faithfulness of a thousand promises fulfilled. The cross is the ultimate tool of reconciliation and of rebirth. The cross is a beautiful thing to behold.

“For God in all his fullness was pleased to live in Christ,

 and through Him God reconciled everything to Himself.

He made peace with everything in heaven and on earth

by means of Christ’s blood on the cross.” (Col 1:19,20)

The cross. 

My cross.

The cross of self is a painful thing.

The cross of self is the epitome of death to self, of the separation of the flesh and the spirit. The cross of self  is dying a thousand deaths upon the altar of Christ in order to be raised anew each time. The cross of self is death to the desires of the flesh and pride and ego.

“If any of you wants to be My follower, you must turn 

from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow Me.

If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it.

But if you give up your life for My sake, you will save it.” (Lk 9:23,24)

In my cross there is sorrow, and in my cross there is pain. The cross of self is held together with rusted iron nails driven through the splintered wood of pride with the precision of a surgeon’s knife.  There is no shine or sparkle on the cross of self. There are no palm branches lain or shouts of 'Hosanna!' in the streets on the way to the cross of self. 

“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed 

the passions and desires of their sinful nature

to his cross and crucified them there.” (Gal 5:24)

The cross of Christ was made of wood and iron and sat unmistakably atop the hill of Calvary. My cross is made of many different things, and is harder to recognize from a distance. But my cross is unflinchingly made with the same single-minded objective:  Death. Before there can be resurrection, there must be death. Before my Father can resurrect a new and perfect species from within this fallen jar of clay, there must be a death to my flesh. This death happens slowly, it happens repeatedly, and it happens constantly. It happens in a hundred small ways a day and a handful of major ways in a lifetime. 

“Whoever does not bear his own cross 
and come after Me cannot be My disciple.” (Lk 14:27)

I am confronted with my cross whenever I’m faced with the choice of living from the flesh or living from the Spirit of Christ in me - and I cannot live through the Spirit of Christ until the flesh has died. I stare at the foot of my own cross when I’m faced with the decision of maintaining a relationship by the silence of my lips, or of surrendering the relationship by speaking the gospel. What is honey in one heart is bitter in another, and only the Lord can sort the two. 

“He is the stone that makes people stumble,

the rock that makes them fall.” (1 Pet 2:8)

I am faced with my own cross when anything in my life is more treasured in my heart than my Lord. Because the Lord knows my heart, He knows what it is I have put between Him and me, and He will find a way to bring  it into light. And then, when I am faced with the choice between holding onto what is most precious to me and my Lord, I am at the foot of my own cross.  

“If you love father or mother more than you love Me,

you are not worthy of being Mine;

or if you love son or daughter more than Me,

you are not worthy of being Mine.” (Mat 10:37)

I stare at the foot of my own cross when people insult me and say all matter of negative things about me because of Him, and when I am faced with the decision to defend my pride or surrender the outcome to the Judge who sees the heart and judges perfectly and fairly. I stand at the foot of my cross when I feel the pull of my flesh and yet yield to the Spirit. 

“God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the earth.

God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God.

God blesses those who work for peace,

for they will be called the children of God.

God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right,

for the kingdom of heaven is theirs.

God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you

and lie about you and say all sorts of  evil things against you

because you are My followers.

A great reward awaits you in heaven.” (Mat 5)

When we behold the cross of Christ, it is a beautiful sight. It is beautiful because we are looking back - through the lens of the resurrection - and behold the cross. When we behold the cross of self, we see the view from Calvary; we are surrounded with soldiers and thieves and weeping women, and our eyes have not yet beheld the glory of the incorruptible creation on the other side. Yet it is on this cross of self that God can do His most glorious work, which is creating something new and perfect in His image out of our fallen lump of clay. Surely God is present with us in that time of transformation. 

“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.
The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
All this is from God..." (2 Cor 5:17)

The painful part, though, it that before the house can be rebuilt, the foundation has to be cleared; all of our fleshly desires must first be put to death.  And yet, even in the midst of pain, torment and death, we can still hear the voice of our Savior whispering a promise to us that on the other side of this cross there is One who awaits us.

“You will be with Me in Paradise.” (Lk 23:43)

So when you look around and find yourself at the foot of your cross - where the skies are dark and your company is thieves - you might want to remove your shoes, for the place you are standing is holy ground.
-----------------------------------
See this link for a great article about the cross by Frank Viola.

What If . . . ???

What if the answer wasn't a better band or a new praise team?
What if the answer wasn't a new preacher?
What if the answer wasn't a million-dollar renovation of the building, or even a new coat of paint?
What if the answer wasn't another specialized ministry for every possible group of people in the church by age, gender, marital status, work status, addiction or struggle?
What if the answer wasn't a more hip youth minister or better childcare or a more fun children's church?
What if the answer wasn't new songs? Or old songs?
What if the answer wasn't better training for our "worship leaders"?

What if the answer was Jesus?

What if the answer wasn't better sermons or more humor, personality or emotion from the speakers?
What if the answer wasn't more small groups?
What if the answer wasn't more community projects or a better VBS or more fun Bible camps?
What if the answer wasn't more guilt?
What if the answer wasn't about money?
What if the answer wasn't a better model of evangelism?
What if the answer wasn't new Bible studies or memory verses?

What if the answer was that we quit "going to church," and instead decided to live as the church?

What if the answer was simply . . . Jesus?

What if Jesus is telling us today the same thing He told His first disciples: "Follow Me"?

What if we set our hearts to love Jesus above everything and everyone else? What if we truly loved Him with our entire heart, soul, mind and strength? How would our lives change? How would our world change? I once heard the question asked: "If you could go to heaven with everyone you have ever loved, with no sickness, sorrow or pain, and you could enjoy all of the pleasures you desire for all of eternity -- but Jesus would not be there -- would you still want to go?" I think our deep, honest answer to that question is quite telling. What if we meditated on Jesus' statement: "Whoever loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me"? What if we could guarantee that our children and spouses would be in heaven with us, but Jesus would not be there? Would we still want to go?

What if Jesus is telling us today the same thing He told a rich young man so many years ago: "Sell all you have and give it to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me"? 

What impact would we have on the world if we, collectively as Christians, sold our million-dollar buildings (or multi-million dollar buildings, more like) ... sold all the real estate and stained glass and pews and offices and fellowship halls and gymnasiums we've built up "in the name of God" and gave that straight to the poor? How many billions of dollars would we have available for actually helping people? (As just one aspect of this, note that a study states that the yearly cost of religious tax exemptions in the US alone is $71,000,000,000. That's billion, with a "b".) And then, without billions of dollars wrapped up in real estate (real estate that's used for, what, a handful of hours a week??), we wouldn't have to continue pouring money into insurance, taxes, building maintenance, lawn mowing, administrative costs .... just think of all the money that would suddenly be freed for kingdom use! 

What if we actually believed - and corporately lived - the reality that there is only one High Priest (Jesus) and that every.single.Christian. belongs to the household of priests? That no Christian is above any other? That there is no hierarchy possible under Christ? What if I took back all the responsibility that I have surrendered for so long to one (or a small handful) of specially-trained and 'pedigreed' men and women, and took to heart the words of Paul when he says that "each one of you has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation ..." to share when Christians get together? What would it be like if we all took responsibility for sharing the Christ that dwells in each one of us? And speaking of getting together -- what if we lived as a shared-life community, instead of associates that simply meet at an appointed time (say, once a week)? What if we stripped ourselves of all titles, status and positions? What if we gauged greatness among us by seeing who has humbled himself and served others and loved others the most, instead of by seminary degrees, prestige, titles or money?

What if we shifted our energy as a collective body? What if, instead of focusing so much attention on what does or doesn't happen during one hour a week, we started focusing on the other 167 hours in a week? What if we didn't look for rules & regulations & things we can check off a list for God, but instead we walk in mercy, justice and righteousness? 

What if we stripped down everything we think we know about religion until we were left with only Jesus? (❝..."How will we know the way?" Jesus said to him, "I am the way ... "❞) What if the answer is not more, but less? Not more ritual, or more study, or more works, but simply Jesus? What if I pursued such a relationship with Him that everything in my life radiated from that singular point? What if, instead of creating false illusions of spirituality by having certain people assigned to bring certain songs or teachings or revelations, we actually let the Spirit of Christ lead us, in a real and tangible way, not just whenever we get together organically with other believers but all throughout our lives? What if we lived as if the Spirit of Christ and the Spirit of the One who raised Him from the dead - the Creator of everything that has ever been created - actually dwells inside each one of us? What if we lived as though we were the vehicle for the Spirit of the Divine?

What if . . . ???

Two Bodies, One Disease

In my body, the wiring of my immune system is all awry. The green wire is evidently connected to the black, the white wire is connected to the blue, and the red wire is just left bare and exposed. The result? I have a very, very hard working immune system - but it puts all its energy in the wrong places. Basically, it can't tell friend from foe - so it ends up attacking my own healthy cells as vigorously as it would attack a foreign threat. The way I've explained it to my nieces is to imagine two armies facing off in battle: the invading troops have all their guns pointed at their opponent, but the "home team," with all their guns, turn and aim at one another! What would the result of that war be? Total annihilation of the home team!

Welcome to my body.

So how are autoimmune diseases treated? The most common way is to disable the immune system, or at least to cripple it. (Basically, the guns are taken away from the army. They are left with pocketknives to fight a war.) With different levels of severity, medications are given that shut off the body's ability to fight -- the same medications that are given to organ transplant patients to prevent Graft Vs. Host disease. The good part about that is my body quits attacking healthy cells (OK, so it reduces the amount,) but unfortunately it means I'm also less able to fight off real threats, like the chicken pox and pneumonia that hospitalized me this year.

So it's a lifelong game of walking a balance beam, trying on one hand to minimize the amount of self-attacks, but at the same time leaving some kind of arsenal for my body to fight off the true threats.

But there's another body I have seen that suffers from the same autoimmune disorder.

And that is the body of Christ.

❝For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.❞
--Eph 6:12

Or, at least, we should be.

But what I see happening with startling prevalence is that we do fight flesh and blood -- and to the heartbreak of our Lord, we too often fight one another. We war within the very body of Christ.

We erect a building and we call it a church, and then we hang a painted sign over the door with a name that we feel designates us to be the right ones of God. Or we meet in a living room and feel spiritually superior to those who don't. And heaven help those who meet under a different umbrella!!! We grab onto a piece of doctrine and claim that those who don't subscribe to our brand of doctrine (which of course is THE right doctrine) are not as close to God as we are.

But this isn't new.

Jesus scolded his disciples about this very thing. Once, 'The Twelve' told Jesus about something they had done, undoubtedly proud of it and expecting kudos from the Lord. "Teacher," they said, "We saw a man using Your name to cast out demons, but we told him to stop because he isn't one of our group." Can you hear the pride in that statement? He isn't one of our group. Can you see the Twelve fist-bumping each other for their brilliant move and holding out their fists to Jesus, expecting Him to fist-bump them back? But He rebuked them.  "Don't stop him!" Jesus said. [Imagine the shock on the disciples' faces right about now.] "Anyone who is not against us is for us." [BAM.] Jesus then went on to say that it would be better for anyone who causes someone to lose their faith in Him if they'd had a 130-lb rock tied to their neck and they were thrown in the sea. Wow! Can't you see the disciples' egos deflating like an untied helium balloon?

Ever since the beginning, followers of Jesus have had to fight the temptation to view the world in terms of "us" and "them." Instead of berating disciples for doing something differently, might Jesus want us to encourage them for following the Lord?

We put being right above being loving.

But this isn't new.

Two thousand years ago, Paul of Tarsus had to deal with believers in Galatia who were being nasty to each other. He encouraged these believers to "serve one another through love," reminding them that the entire Law and every prophet's message could be distilled down to one thing: Love. "But," he warned them, "If instead of showing love among yourselves you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out! Beware of destroying one another." So we should live according to our new life in the Holy Spirit!

"What horrible people those were way back then! I'm glad we're not like that today," we say.

HA! OK, so what does autoimmune disease in the body of Christ look like today? As I said above, one major symptom is the sign hung above the door of the building some call churches. Within 5 minutes of meeting another believer, I can almost guarantee the question, "Where do you go to church?" will be asked. There is only one purpose of these titles and names: To divide ourselves. What is a denomination, other than a portion being denominated (divided) from the whole? Oddly enough, there are even certain groups who say that they are not a denomination. (If that's not an oxymoron, I don't know what is!) They come up with definitions of a denomination with only the traits they don't possess; for example, a common one I've heard is that you're not a denomination if you don't have a central governing body (such as the regional, national and international chains of command). But having a hierarchy outside a local group is not the definition of a denomination. Being divided from the whole is the definition of a denomination!

Other ways we see spiritual autoimmunity is in spreading gossip about one another, by not helping one another when we have the means to help, by not becoming invested in one another's lives - you know, being a true community and family! Instead, we go about our everyday lives without connecting with each other in meaningful and sacrificial ways. The picture of the earliest church is an astoundingly beautiful one, but unfortunately it is all too uncommon in our day.

It is long past time that we drop all the walls of division among believers. What would happen if we truly took seriously Jesus' prayer in the garden before His arrest? Imagine you are God made flesh, standing on the earth for the last time as a free man, before your arrest and execution. You have only a short amount of time to talk to your Father in heaven. Don't you think that what that prayer includes would be some mighty important stuff? I do! And that's why the fact that Jesus uses this time to pray that the people who believe in Him would be united in the truth by the Spirit is no small thing. Yet it seems like we are continually inventing new ways to divide from one another and attack each other!

Jesus showed no partiality when He walked the earth 2,000 years ago. He loved, served, and taught those within His circle and those outside of it. By example and by word, He taught His disciples to do the same thing - and then He told those disciples to teach & show others how to do the same. At every turn, Jesus and His apostles tried to nip division in the bud -- yet it flourishes today.

Jesus said, "Love each other. Just as I have loved you, love each other. Your love for each other will prove that you are My disciples."

Yet Gandhi said, "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ."

Read that quote again, and let it break your heart.

If we, as those who bear the name of Jesus Christ, cannot truly love each other, how can we love unbelievers? How can we even claim to love God?

If we cannot stop biting and devouring one another, how can we expect to have anything appealing to offer the world?

We must remember that other believers - yes, even those who think differently - are not the enemy. ("He who is not against Me.....") If we are not a source of healing & love for the other members of the same body we are a part of, how could we ever help heal others? We also need to remember that the enemy is not the people outside of the church. Because we are a priesthood, our job is to intercede to God on behalf of those people! (Think of Abraham & Moses who pleaded that God would not destroy the people because of their disobedience.)

So as I will be doing, I would highly encourage you to go before our Advocate, Jesus Christ, and ask Him to reveal the ways in which you & I could improve in the way we show love for one another. Not in word, but in action. In the kind of way that would rock the foundation of our society, because love like this cannot come from any natural source. A love like this is truly supernatural, and I believe the world would sit up and take notice if they saw this kind of love in action. Instead of adding fuel to the enemy's fire, let us kindle a holy love between one another that would spark into the hearts of others.

Our God in heaven is the Great Physician, and He has the power to heal this spiritual autoimmune disease that is running rampant in the body of His Son. What is the treatment? An overflowing and constant dose of LOVE. Love for Jesus, love for His Body (which is Jesus in the flesh, a.k.a. the church), and love for others. Are we willing to submit to this treatment? (There is no danger of overdose!) My final thought for you is from 1st John (which is an excellent source of encouragement in this area):

❝Let us love one another, for love is of God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God ... if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another ... if we love one another, God abides in us ... God is love and the one who abides in love abides in God ... If someone says, "I love God," but hates his brother, he is a liar.❞

What are some practical things we can each change in our own lives (with the emphasis on introspection, not  jumping right back in the U.S.S Criticize-Your-Brother ship) that will help heal this systemic disease and repair the damage?

Evidence Isn't Everything

Speaking from a scientific and medical perspective, is there any shadow of a doubt that smoking cigarettes is bad for your health? I would dare say that the answer is "no." So why then do people still smoke? Because our decisions are influenced by so much more than just the facts. Not even rock-solid evidence is enough to keep some people from continuing in harmful behavior.

And to be more specific, sometimes that evidence isn't enough to keep me from harmful behavior.

I have driven when I was way too tired. In fact, I've driven while under the influence. I've eaten McDonald's chicken nuggets even after learning about the ghastly pink slime. And I insert Q-Tips all the way inside my ear because the annoyance of a wet ear canal is evidently worth the risk of permanently damaging my hearing. For every single one of these decisions, I knew better at the time.

So what?

Well, I used to believe that *if* Jesus really WAS the Son of God like He claimed (and that was a big, gigantic IF), then surely there would've been compelling evidence of his other-worldliness while He walked the earth, and every single person within thousands of miles would've been His followers by the time He died. (And all the more so if the resurrection was true. Surely that made the cover of first-century newspapers, right?)

Instead, even the Bible tells us that within just a couple days of Him being executed, virtually all of His closest friends and so-called "disciples" had scattered like cockroaches in the light and were doubting what they once believed about Him being God-on-earth (as we plainly see by them saying things like, "We had hoped He would be the one...."). I mean, if Jesus really was God, then wouldn't there be so much proof of it that everyone could easily tell that Jesus "wasn't from around here"?? If He really did create the universe, then surely He could come up with enough proof to convince people. Surely it would take a few hundred years for the awe to wear off and people to stop believing in Him -- instead of the numbers going in the opposite direction.

So doesn't the fact that there weren't thousands upon thousands of die-hard believers in Jesus by the time He died prove that there wasn't very convincing evidence for His claims? In fact, not only did He not have multitudes of loyal followers at that point, but He couldn't even keep His few closest friends around. What kind of God can't even keep a dozen guys convinced?? There must not have been much evidence to back up His claims. Right?

Well, if that logic is true and we hold to it, then there shouldn't be a single cigarette smoker alive. Not a single meth user. No one would ever drive drunk and McDonald's would be out of business in a week. But yet we all continue to make decisions that we know aren't beneficial .... for some reason.

But why?

Because every one of us uses more than "just the facts" to make a decision. We consider what it will cost us and what we would gain. We consider how difficult it would be to change accordingly. (Admit it, quitting cigarette sounds like no fun at all.) The more we have to lose (friends, money, reputation, etc) and the more difficult the change, the less those facts are enough to impact us.

And make no mistake about it, Jesus wants nothing less than everything from you and me.

If we take Jesus at His word, then He wants to be absolutely first in our lives.

So what's the flip side of that coin? Why would I possibly want to hand over my entire life to Jesus? What could I possibly gain from that? Well, nothing less than immortality. Being forgiven of every bad thing you've ever done in your life - to have it all wiped clean. The constant presence of the Spirit of God who will actually make His home inside you, and then an eternity in the presence of Love Incarnate.

But too many of us (myself included, for too many years) chose to let such things as pride and immediate gratification take precedence over the proof and logical "cost/benefit analysis" of the equation. This is exactly why a large crowd could watch Jesus bring a guy that had been dead for many days back to life right in front of them - and yet many of those people never became His followers. They loved the approval of people and their status in society more.

So at the end of the day we each choose freely whether or not we will follow the Son of God, but let none of us say that it is only based on historical evidence.

One Sentence that Could Change the World

Once upon a time a group of highly religious people callously threw a woman, guilty of sexual sin, in the dust at the feet of Jesus. She had knowingly acted in a way that was against God's design. According to the design of God - according to the very nature of God, who by nature cannot be in the presence of sin - the wages of her sin was a death sentence. And the crowd who had brought her to the feet of Jesus - who claimed to speak for God Himself - was chomping at the bit to have that sentence carried out right then and there; they held the weapons in their hands that would be used to execute the woman. This moment was an incredibly combustible face-off between two of the most powerful forces of the day: in one corner stood the religious elite - the people who held the title of God's chosen race and holy nation, the people whose charge it was to represent the great I Am to a world outside of that covenant and who did not know God; what the world knew about God was what they learned through observing this holy nation of chosen people. And in the other corner stood Jesus, who claimed to be the very Son of God Himself. Not only did He speak exclusively for God, but He was God.

They asked Jesus again and again and demanded an answer.

But Jesus just sat down and started doodling in the dirt.

As you can imagine, this didn't make the mob happy. Finally, after much pestering, Jesus stood up and faced the angry mob of the religious elite. He looked them in the eye and instructed the woman to be stoned -- as long as the stoning began by the person in the crowd who had no sin throwing the first rock.

One by one, oldest to youngest, every single person in the angry crowd left. Soon only Jesus and the woman remained.

Upon noting that no one was left to condemn the woman, Jesus told the woman one single sentence - one that just might change the world. "Neither do I condemn you," Jesus said. "Now go your way and sin no more." 

The woman walked in expecting to be executed - and she walked away a free woman. After one meeting with Jesus, her life was forever changed.

There's four things about this event that I believe are absolutely pivotal.

◆ Jesus refused to get caught up in the emotion of the moment. He wouldn't jump on the bandwagon of hate and condemnation towards the woman, and yet He didn't act hateful towards the self-righteous either. He kept His cool.

◆ Jesus reminded the religious elite what they had evidently forgotten: that they too had fallen far short of the glory of God. They had no room to treat the woman as if they embodied God's law perfectly -- regardless of whether or not they had ever committed the same sin that this woman stood condemned for, they had nonetheless sinned. And if you were guilty of breaking one part of the law, you were guilty of the weight of the whole law.

◆ The fact that these people were guilty of sin did not excuse the behavior of the woman. Jesus then addressed her - but He did so in love and with compassion; He did not demean her or belittle her. In fact, He forgave her. He did the unthinkable and said that He did not condemn her.

◆ Far from excusing what she had done and the gravity of the situation, Jesus addressed her sinful life head-on. After forgiving her and wiping her slate clean, he told her to "go and sin no more." He recognized that what she had done was sin, and that she should never do this again. Because of the love she received from Him, He expects her life to look differently. She had been given a charge by the Son of God to change her life -- and I would think that being given the chance to walk away from death row would emblazon that on her heart in a way that made her think long & hard about that advice and her choice of lifestyles.

So why is this so important? Because frankly, in most conversations about sin I hear (and worse, what I see in the media), people ignore #1, have forgotten #2, refuse #3 and skip over #4. If we act like #3 and #4 are an either/or buffet; we either focus on excusing people of their sin, or we take it upon ourselves to campaign for everyone else to "go and sin no more." Typically that involves a lot of finger pointing and quoting our favorite "clobber verses." God's Word should be used as a healing balm, and not as a way to cauterize an open wound we just inflicted.

If we emphasize only #3 (Jesus' statement that He did not condemn the woman in sin) while neglecting #4 (the second half of Jesus' sentence warning her not to sin any more), we have perverted Jesus' message and are in danger of endorsing what has been called "cheap grace." But the flip side of that coin is just as dangerous! If all we talk about are the laws and "Thou Shalt Not's," then God becomes nothing more than a supernatural bully who is eagerly waiting for each of us to trip up so He can strike us with lightning and the full power of His wrath. That is not the God I know! That is not the God of the Bible! That is not Jesus!

I recently read an interesting blog post about some disturbing trends among Christendom today, and I thought the author made one especially poignant observation. Even though 80% of youth will leave "church" by the time they hit 30, the reasons they give for leaving - such as the experience of Christianity being shallow, or the church being antagonistic to unbelievers - "[U]pon heavy scrutiny [of their reasons for leaving], none of this remotely sounded like Jesus, so He wasn't the problem, which was a relief because when having a faith crisis, you don't want to discover your Main Character is a fraud. As far as I can tell, Jesus is still the easiest sell on earth, because if you don't love a guy who healed lepers and pulled children onto His lap and silenced the religious elite and ate and drank with sinners, then you just don't know Him."

The GOOD NEWS is that when we are humbly at the feet of Jesus, He will not condemn us. He will help us to our feet and dust us off. When Jesus encounters a person caught up in sin, He doesn't jump on the bandwagon of those who ignore their own sin while accusing others'. Instead, He extends love to the person, and He then adjures that person to change their life.

Is that what happens when you or I encounter a person caught up in sin?

God is love, so the only way we can accurately represent Him is by loving others.

"By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another." 
--Jesus

Contrary to Popular Opinion

At one time or another we've all been excited to see a movie because of all the hype we've heard about it - only to be dismally disappointed. (I'm still sore about the fact that I lost two hours of my life to watching "Transformers 2.") In fact, it's gotten to the point where the more hype I hear about a movie, the less interested I am in seeing it. Some shows that are known as "classics" just boggle my mind for how they've stood the test of time (all I really remember from "Gone With The Wind" was that a snobby girl made herself a dress out of curtains. And there was a fire. Frankly my dear .....) In one setting or another I think we've all experienced that feeling of total befuddlement when what we were told to expect doesn't match up to the actual scenario -- and I don't think there's a difference when it comes to matters of faith.

If there's one thing I've learned from reading the Bible for myself, it's that it doesn't say 95% of what people say it says.

Put another way, there have been times that I've wondered if I'm even reading the same Bible as other people. I've heard the quotes fly ... I've heard the philosophies explained ... I've seen the examples of what people say are biblical traits .... only to become convinced I must be reading an alien translation.

You know what I think the #1 reason is for this? People don't read the Bible. Christians don't read the Bible. Oh they might read an individual verse or section here and there - maybe they even have it written in an elegant font overlaid on a beautiful sunset photo - but they don't read the Bible. Let me be more specific: People don't read the Bible first, and then come up with conclusions. We have conclusions in our minds and then read the Bible for passages to use for justification. There are few conversations that have ever occurred in which tiny snippets couldn't be extracted from their context, rearranged, and Frankenstein-ed into some conversation foreign to the original meaning. Imagine for a moment that someone went through your sent emails and only pulled individual sentences out and pasted them into a new email. What crazy things could be written in your own words?? I'm not saying that most people intentionally distort the Bible. I'm saying that anything taken out of context could be dangerous - and more often than not, things from the Bible are taken out of context. Most often we hear people talk about individual verses - or worse, parts of individual verses - but rarely do we ever hear people talking about the big picture. We have memory verses* coming out our ears (and mouths), and the shorter they are the better. But how often do we talk about the principles, the situation, the context behind those verses??

Every spring near graduation time I see all kinds of paraphernalia - like picture frames and keychains and coffee mugs - sporting the uplifting "Scriptural promise" to the new grads: "I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11) But do we EVER stop to wonder if God was actually talking to the present-day graduates from Yuba City High School when He said that?? Does it even apply to graduates, or newlyweds, or me? Does every verse in the Bible translate and apply directly to my life?

Are you shaking your head 'yes, it does' right now? OK, then try this on for size:

"Curse God and die." Job 2:9
"Continue in sin so that grace may increase." Romans 6:1
"You go, and do likewise." Luke 10:37
"Jesus said to him, 'What you are going to do, do quickly.'" John 13:27
OK OK OK ... so that was obviously an exaggerated example to prove a point. I don't hear many people going around preaching that we should curse God and die ..... but I do hear people seriously teaching all kinds of other things that are found nowhere in Scripture. How many times have we heard someone quote, "Thou shalt not judge" (which I personally think is the world's favorite Scripture), yet they never quote, "Judge with righteous judgment." Why is that?? Because they pick out the verse that suits their agenda and they fail to read the entire context. It's no wonder why some say the Bible is full of confusion and contradictions! A simple reading of the whole context is usually enough to dispel those allegations.  Some of the out-of-context things or matters of pure opinion that are believed/taught make no difference in the big picture of life. Whether or not a person believes that God used 6 literal 24-hour days or periods of time means nothing to my daily life (unless, of course, I make this matter of opinion an issue of fellowship; sadly this is done all too often). But what about the parts of Scripture that are sorely taken out of context and taught as a complete doctrine, when what the Bible teaches is drastically different?

.......

I just erased a big paragraph of examples that I had written. You know why? (a) This post is long enough already; but more importantly, (b) it's not about taking MY word for it. All I'm trying to do here is encourage people to read the Bible for themselves. All of it. Repeatedly. From different perspectives. We need to have the whole picture in mind before we have any business dissecting tiny parts of it. I am absolutely convinced that we - as a society (believers & not) need to take a loooong, hard, fresh look at what we've been convinced the Bible teaches. We need to be much slower to jump to the defense and longer to listen to those who have differing views. Whether or not you are a believer, reading the whole Bible for yourself will be one of the most "wait a minute!!!" moments you've had (and yes, I am also speaking to those who've read it many, many times. I could (and might?) write an entire post on the filters with which we approach the Bible.) The first time I ever read the Bible (before I even believed there was a god), my biggest impression of it all was: This doesn't teach at all what I've always heard that it taught. It's only been in the last couple years that I've been able to take a step back again and look at the Word of God afresh .... only to realize again - and even more so - that what I took in as "fact" was SO much more tradition and our culture than Scripture. I dare you ........ I triple dog dare you ...... to read the Bible for yourself.

And if right now all you are thinking about is all "those people" who have distorted and decontextualized Scripture, you've missed my entire point.

God is not the Author of confusion - yet we end up confused by the tidbits we have pulled out of context. We try to assemble a car while leaving half the pieces on the bench. I believe this is where the wisdom lies in the psalmist's statement, "The sum of Your word is truth." Jesus says that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. It is likely that if you feel weighed down by the demands & commands of Christianity that you have swallowed more tradition & manmade doctrine than you have ingested the pure & simple words of the Lord. I know I did, for several years. Peeling back the layers of tradition from the pure Word of God is the most liberating thing I've ever done! One thing I need to specify though, just in case I have left a wrong impression: I am not claiming to have the monopoly on understanding God's Word. I am only saying that the one thing I do know for sure is that in too many people's minds, we have inextricably woven the laws & opinions of man with the pure Word of God.

*I'm not saying that memorizing parts of Scripture is bad; it can be quite helpful in some situations. I'm saying we have dissected the Word as a whole so much that it is hardly recognizable when we try to reassemble all the bite-sized pieces.

Vignettes from a Borrowed Life

Last week I did something I've never done before ... I played "Mom" for a whole week to my three awesome nieces (ages 8, 10 & 10 ... mid-week the little one had a birthday, so it was 9, 10 & 10.) My sister had the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to go to Nepal for a month and trek around on a particular trail on Mount Everest, which gave me & other family members the chance to spend some time with the girls by alternating weeks.  By the end of my week with the girls I was EXHAUSTED ... and totally bummed it was over. I had so much fun and I owe so much to three special young ladies who made that time unforgettable!

Here are some of the priceless moments from the week that I hope to always remember:

• Coming to the realization - pretty early in the week - that my sister (and all others who take raising a family seriously AND who have to juggle everything else in life) are pretty much real-life superheroes. I feel very strongly that she has a cape and mask hidden somewhere in her house. Without it I don't know how she does it.
• Having a heart-to-heart with my oldest niece over a cup of frozen yogurt.
• Doing an impromptu photo shoot with them while toodling around up in Nevada City, when we came across the perfect brick wall!
• Having random conversations about faith, Jesus and godly living throughout the week, especially with my oldest niece - mostly because of questions she asked me. One was about how I can know that the Bible is trustworthy. We talked about things like the Dead Sea Scrolls, prophecy, carbon dating and consistency. She also asked God's view on temptation and sin in the middle of lunch. We all had a good talk about "not returning evil for evil" when they'd be snippy to each other because "she did it first." We've talked about the good ol' line, "everyone else is doing it" and how God's people are never the majority in society, so it's usually a good thing if you stand out from the crowd! We've talked about "garbage in, garbage out" several times and how no matter our age, we always need to be mindful of the influences we are mentally & spiritually digesting.
• Awkward Moment of the Week award goes to: having to explain my "no" answer to my youngest niece when she asked if I ever wanted to have kids.
• Coming to appreciate even more how much of a full-time job and entire-life sacrifice it is to raise kids. You can't take a day off or "check out" of it for a while. It's the most important - and quite possibly the most difficult thing - anyone could ever do.
• "Dangers of Technology & The Insane Speed at which Things Can Go Awry" Awareness award goes to: showing my nieces how to start a 2-player game of Words on their Kindles using a family member's known username, checking back 10 minutes later to find they've started roughly 15 new games with random opponents, some of whom they'd already started live chats with. Eeek! 
• Being teased about my having had multiple weddings. While playing dress-up with them, my niece got a good long laugh out of having to specify which wedding of Aunt Karyn's that red dress of their mom's was used in. ;-)
• Even though I only "played Mom" for one week, I have a newfound appreciation and compassion for all those people who have to deal with chronic illness and a family. I don't know how they do it.
• Not-so-different with age: I learned that even if kids are wide awake and able to have fun during a late-night slumber party, where they're up over 2 hours past their bedtime, it doesn't mean they'll be able to do their next morning's chores without pinching each other's heads off. Slumber parties the night before our busiest morning of chores (as we were getting ready to leave to take them elsewhere for the next week) was not a good idea. However, the night was fun and I have some awesome pictures of the hours we spent playing dress-up. So I guess in the end it was worth it. :)
• Selfishly Awesome Moment of the Week: while with the girls at their ceramics class (an hour and a half each for four days) the teacher actually allowed me to work in clay too! When she heard that half my college degree is in ceramics, she told me to feel free to use the clay and the wheels to make anything I wanted, and she would fire it for me! I worked on the wheel one day ... the first time in the 11 years since I graduated college!! ... and it was sooooo wonderful!! It was like a therapy session with a trusted counselor! And then the next day I worked on a hand building project along with the girls. Even though I ended up not saving the bowl I threw (below), it was all worth it just to have the time on the wheel!

• I can see especially now how parents have to walk a line in their relationship with their kids where they are not just "friends" with them, but are parents. I have seen many-a family fall because the parents want so much to be liked by their kids and to have someone to hang out with that they fail to uphold standards and discipline when the need arises. I'm not saying at all that there shouldn't be a tightly-knit love & relationship ... I'm just saying they can't be your buddy. Being an aunt is a special sub-category -- and while I have the benefit of not being the disciplinarian, I still hope to set a good example!! (While at the same time allowing them to eat ice cream for dinner.) ;-) 
• Realizing that other than special occasions, I've never once called my nieces just to say hi and see what they're up to. Sure, when I talk to my sister I will sometimes chat with them too for a bit ... but I don't ever remember calling just to talk to each of them. So I've made a resolve to do that.
• Watching the girls document their day each evening as we took some time to write in our journals that will be given to their mom when she gets home, both as a way of "talking to mom" while she's gone and as a fun memento for this time.
• Coming to look at pop culture (like music) in a whole new light. Parts of songs I never really noticed before jump out at me when listening to them with 10-yr-olds!! And realizing just how toxic pop music is. One of the hit songs right now is "Teenage Dream" ... and you know what it's about?? Here's just a few of the lyrics: "Let's go all the way tonight/No regrets, just love...You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream/The way you turn me on/I can't sleep/Let's run away and don't ever look back." YIKES!!! And even when listening to a decent song on a decent station on Pandora, the cover art and ads that pop up can be crazy!! I can see why some parents want to put their kids in an insulated bubble ... which of course you can't do ... but ohhhhh it's a tough world to be a kid or to raise a kid in right now. :(
• Biggest AUNT FAIL moment: asking the oldest to hold the strainer while I pour out the noodles & water I just boiled - and having some of it splash her hand because I poured too fast! She didn't cry, but I sure wanted to!!
• (This one will be hard to explain ... so bear with me. And if you're good with kids and/or have spent a lot of time around them, this might not make ANY sense to you whatsoever.) I realized just how very much little people they are. I mean, they are each striking individuals. Each of my nieces are profoundly unique from not only their sisters, but from anyone else. They are already the core of what they will always be ... they have the core personalities and traits and dis/likes they will likely always have. They are people!! When you have never really spent a lot of time around kids, it's all too easy to think that they aren't just little people - at least not yet. At what point did I think they became little people?? I don't know. Teenagers? More?? I don't know. It's not really a logical thing to try to explain. In fact, I have no idea how to explain this. Suffice it to say that although they're little and they're young, they very much have unique and distinctive traits, goals, dreams, preferences and styles.  I can already see much of the young adults and even adults they will likely be. Even though I wholeheartedly believe we have the power to change much about ourselves (I sure have!!) I also believe that there is, deep down, a core to your soul that makes you you. And even at 8 ... 9 ... 10 ... you've already got it.
• Getting to play "Tooth Fairy" for the first time ever!!! My oldest niece said she was finally going to put a tooth under her pillow that she lost a year ago. Let me tell you, it was stressful to do!! I held my iPhone in my teeth as a flashlight, trying not to shine it on her sleeping face, while I oh-so-carefully lifted the [giant] pillow slightly with one hand & tried to search for the tooth with my other hand all while nervously holding my breath trying not to wake her. I finally found it and slipped the dollar in [having no idea what the going rate for a lost tooth is], but BOY it was stressful!!!
• Moments of the week that stand out that show how they are being raised right:
• seeing how incredibly polite they are. They aren't pushy little kids or whiners or beggars. They are just plain fun to be around.
• after eating chinese food for lunch and saying I was tired and could sleep the rest of the afternoon, all three girls piped up with, "That means this is the best time for you to go exercise." I just laughed!
• upon waking up from a short night's sleep (due to our slumber party the final night) and in prep for a morning of chores, the oldest one said to the others: "Since we didn't get a lot of sleep last night we are more likely to be cranky this morning. We really need to watch ourselves and check our attitudes."
• two of the girls recently saved up enough money of their own and each purchased for themselves a Kindle Fire (a 7" tablet, like an iPad.) 
• Even with the excitement of their brand-new Kindles, when they youngest one asked for a turn playing on them they each said yes without any prompting.
• at a frozen yogurt place where you dish it up yourself and then are charged based on the weight, the only topping my niece would add was whipped cream, "Because you can get a lot and it doesn't weigh hardly anything." Even when I encouraged her to pick something else, just for this one special time, she said, "No thank you. Those weigh too much."
• after eating take-out or fast meals pretty much all week, when we hit a Chinese buffet on Friday for the little one's birthday the middle one came back with a big plate of salad. She said, "We haven't had many greens this week."
• But most of all, more than any other moment, I remember the way I dreaded Saturday's quick approach and my sadness that the week was over. Was I exhausted beyond any reasonable level? Absolutely. Would I have loved to have my time with them be longer? Without a doubt.

.........Aunt Karyn

The Faith of an Atheist

"Faith, hope and love...

But the dumbest of these is faith."

(Summarizing a common thought of atheists)

Recently I celebrated nine years of being in Christ. Wow! Where did the time go?? In some ways I look back and it seems like it flew by - like maybe it's only been a year or two. Could my life really be that different now? But other times it feels like my life "B.C." (yes, "Before Christ") was another lifetime ... eons ago ... a vague dream that's hard to remember when waking.

So when I look back, what do I see? I can confidently tell you one thing: I have truly learned the meaning of the saying, "The more I know, the more I realize I don't know." Things that used to be so obvious to me - things I accepted about my faith and Christianity as a whole - that seemed rock-solid in my mind have become anything but solid. Now don't get scared - I'm not doubting my faith or Jesus at all. In fact I can easily say my faith and my confidence in Jesus as the Son of God is firmer now than it has ever been. I'm just talking about the application of that faith. But .... I digress. That's not where I'm going today.

I've already written about some of the things that went into my journey from being an atheist to a follower of Jesus, but of course there's no blog post long enough to describe all of it! Right now I want to dive into a topic that to me - when I was an atheist - was the worst "f" word in the world: faith. <<shudder>> What a horrible thing. What a check your brain at the door kind of trait. Who would want to be known by their faith?? It's practically like boasting about how low your IQ is.

Isn't it??

At the ripe ol' age of 24, I began really questioning my beliefs and worldview. At that point I was a "card-carrying atheist" (well, if there had been a card to carry for being an atheist, I would have carried it. I at least had the obligatory "Darwin fish" on my bumper.) I was as far left as you can imagine ... and probably a tad farther. I was convinced that if everyone in the world just put on their thinking caps for 5 solid minutes and were willing to set aside millennia of Dark Ages lore, they'd quickly realize how absurd it is to believe in some big guy in the sky just talking things into existence or destroying them. (Kinda makes you think of Tim from Monty Python's "Holy Grail" movie, doesn't it?) I mean, that's on par with thinking that I can get to heaven because I've eaten some dead guy's flesh and drank his blood, or that a bunch of strong guys from another world come across a rainbow bridge to help us poor little humans by fighting with a super-tough hammer, or that life began on earth by aliens sending tiny bacteria cells hitchhiking on a rock from space to earth ..... oh wait, that last one really is a belief some atheists (like Steven Dawkins) hold. Never mind that one.

Aren't we supposed to be in the age of science by now? Isn't it time we all give up on these crazy "grown-up Santa Claus" fantasies of God and bite down on the cold, hard truth that there is no meaning to life and that we are just one big cosmic accident?? Wanting something to be true doesn't make it true. If it did, I wouldn't have to be going to the gym to trim my rumpus; because I want it thinner it would be.

But I soon had to come to grips with my own cold, hard truth: The fact that I had come to the point of wanting there to be no God - then I wouldn't be accountable to anything beyond my own selfish agenda - didn't mean that there wasn't a God. I had been living in a way that was consistent with my world view: nothing's wrong if everyone involved consents; survival of the fittest meant I should be concerned with "me and mine" only. But yet ..... in the still, dark quiet of the night .... there was always something eating away at me. Some deep voice inside me kept reminding me that no matter how I justified it, I knew that living like this wasn't right. I knew it. But that doesn't mean I'd admit it. So I tried to drown out that voice - literally. I poured enough alcohol over that voice to drown an elephant - yet it kept whispering. And despite an ever-increasing amount of numbing self-medicating, that voice grew steadily louder. And louder. And louder. It about drove me mad. Finally I came to a breaking point - quite literally. SOMEthing wasn't adding up in my life - but I didn't know what that was. All I knew is that what I rationalized in my mind did not jive with what my heart screamed. Finally, I caved. I decided to reexamine everything. And I mean everything. What I did for a living, where I lived, who I spent my time with, my politics, my worldview, my opinions on life and death and God and afterlife and faith and all that. Everything was on the chopping block. I made a wholehearted decision that I would examine everything with as little bias as I could manage. If after investigation I concluded my previous belief, then so be it. I'd stick with it. But if I came to a different conclusion ..... then everything would change. And I mean everything.

There was one thing above everything else that was the nail in the coffin of my atheism. Once I jumped this obstacle, I had to look at everything differently. Nothing was the same. "What's the difference," I asked myself, "between me reading my science textbooks and believing it, and me listening to my biology professors and believing them -- and a Christian who reads their Bible and listens to their preacher and believes them?" At first all the justifications flooded my brain, like "My textbooks are based on fact. There are proofs. There are experiments that prove the conclusions. There's physical evidence. A Bible is just written by a bunch of guys who didn't even know each other over thousands of years. And it's full of contradictions." However, in an effort to be true to my resolve to give everything a fair shake, I kept thinking it out. Soon I realized that my Biology textbook is in its 7th edition. Why do they revise science books? It's not just for updated graphics. It's because they've proven some things and disproven others, and new theories have come out. After all, isn't it called the Theory of Evolution? The plain fact of the matter is that when I read my textbook, I believe that those experiments actually happened as they were reported. I believe that the author wouldn't lie to me and publish bogus stuff. I believe that my professor teaches me what s/he has personally seen proven. But I never saw those things. I never saw that fossil. I take what I read and hear on faith. WHOA!!!!! Did I just say I had FAITH!?!?!! YIKES!!!!! If anyone ever hears me say that, they'll revoke my atheist card!!!!

But it made sense. And I couldn't shake that thought. I walked around all day thinking, "I have faith. I've had to have faith to believe in science. That just doesn't make sense. Yet it makes perfect sense." When it really comes down to it, doesn't everything we believe in take faith? Even what we see with our own eyes and touch with our own fingers takes faith that it is real - that we aren't hallucinating - that we're not out of our minds.

The moment I realized that I've had faith all along, suddenly Christians didn't seem so dumb. (Well ok, they were still pretty dumb but not totally dumb.) After all, isn't it all just a matter of where you place your faith? Not whether or not you have faith?

So at that moment I decided to give the Bible a fair chance. I would read it from cover to cover, without going on a witch hunt or with an agenda to prove it wrong -- simply just to read it and see what all the fuss was about. After all, I'd never read it. I'd made a lifetime of arguing against its validity, yet I'd never read it. The closest I'd come was to hearing the same chapter from the gospel of Luke recited every Christmas Eve service I was forced to go to, and in printing off lists from the internet about all the contradictions. But even that I took on faith, that someone was representing it truthfully. If I read the Bible and it was a bunch of hocus-pocus, then I'd set it back down and have even more ammunition for future debates. But if not ..... if it wasn't a bunch of hooey ...... then everything would change.

And believe me, it has. Oh how it's changed. And it keeps changing .......

"Faith, fact and proof...

But the cornerstone of these is faith."

More on the most important transitions in my life:

Epiphany #1

Epiphany #2

Epiphany #3

Why People Say, "I Don't Know How to Share My Faith" -- and Why I Don't Believe Them

In the eight years (almost 9!) I have been a follower of Jesus, I have heard many, many people say that they just don't know how to share their faith. In a nutshell, I just have to say that I don't believe that for a minute. Now, if you were to say that you don't know how to lead someone through the scriptures in order to teach them about Jesus and the impact He should have on our daily life, I might believe you a smidgen more - but even with that I think there are too many holes. For starters, do you have a biblical basis for your hope of eternal life? Have you studied the Bible enough to have a simple understanding of what you believe? Well, why couldn't you share that with someone?

Let me start by saying this: I am not judging anyone's heart or saying that they are liars or anything like that. I promise. I am simply saying that too many people have been convinced that sharing Jesus is for a 'select few' people who have a 'special calling' from God and even fewer who have the special pedigree or training in order to follow out their calling. Frankly, that's hooey. There is no biblical basis for those beliefs. "But wait!" you say. "What about the verse that says 'He gave a few to be evangelists'??" Well .... biblically speaking, what is an evangelist? It's someone like the apostle Paul, whose full-time vocation was to travel around doing what we today might call "church planting." (However, I hate to use that term. Our goal is not to plant churches -- our charge is to sow the seed of Jesus, and then God would cause the increase, and to those who turn their lives to God, Jesus would add them to His church. So a church is not the goal - it is a byproduct.) Paul travelled around speaking the Word of God wherever he went. He would sometimes accept money from Christians to support himself, but many times he would work in his tent-making trade so as not to be a burden where he was. I believe the longest he was in one spot was 2-3 years. Hardly what we have today with lifetime professional preachers staying in one spot preaching to believers. But we have accepted this professional clergy mindset, believing that it takes some seminary degree in order to preach. What a divergence with what we see in scripture!! In the New Testament we see that those who stuck by Jesus and learned from Him went everywhere speaking in His Name!!  In fact, when everyday people spoke with the wisdom of Christ, it astonished the hearers. We read, "Now as [the Jewish leaders] observed the confidence of Peter and John and understood that they were uneducated and untrained men, they were amazed, and began to recognize them as having been with Jesus." When you talk, can people recognize that you have been with Jesus? Do we still trust that God's word is our power? "I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes!" We can too often rely on our own wisdom and strength and forget that it is only the gospel & power of God that will convict people's hearts. Not doctorates of theology. Not masters of divinity. The gospel, the whole gospel, and nothing but the gospel.

So if our first hang-up is that we have accepted the false idea of the professional clergy mindset, the second mistake we make is believing that only certain, specially-called people need to be sharing their faith. Yet the NT says, "You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." If we understand that every Christian is a priest and every Christian is part of God's holy people, then we have to also understand that we were each saved in order to proclaim His excellencies. And again, "As for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works." And what about what we all call "The Great Commission?" Do we really believe that is our commission - individually? Do we live our lives and view every interaction with every person in our lives as our opportunity to "go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation?"

Related to the "experienced only need apply" mindset, what about this: do you know someone personally whom you would describe as a person dedicated to sharing Christ & has produced fruit from it? Do you know someone who has a passion for sharing a relationship with Jesus? Would you say they are "good at it?" Well then, have you asked them to teach you how they do it? There is a very real reason I ask this. My husband is known by virtually everyone as a passionate sharer of Christ. He has sown the seed of the kingdom countless times & in countless ways. He lives & breathes to speak of the love of Jesus. Many, many people are now children of God as a direct result of what he has shared with them. Yet, of all the people who have said, "I can't share Christ like you can. I'm no good at it - I just don't know how" -- not one of them have ever asked Danny personally to help them learn. And even those who claim that their one special gift is hospitality (which I still have yet to find in scripture) and that Danny's gift must be teaching, not one of them have come to him and said, "I'm not good at teaching, but I'm good at hosting. So would you mind if I host the people and you come over and teach? Oh, and also, while I'm there with you while you teach, I desire to learn to teach also. Will you help?" If you defined the word "gift" by most people's usage of it, you'd come to see that it's really just a synonym for "comfort zone."

Besides all of that, here is the #1 reason I don't truly believe people who say, "I don't know how to share Christ":

Guys: if you were driving past a car lot and saw this:

What would you do? How excited would you be?? Say you assume (as most of us would) that it was a scam - there's no way something that good would be available that cheap. But you stop in to talk to the salesman anyway. That's when you find out that for only $1 period -- no strings attached -- you can hand over four quarters and drive home a Dodge Viper in mint condition. But then you learn that there is a whole FLEET of these Vipers available -- you can call everyone you know and they too can get a new Viper for only $1!! Let me ask you this, would you know how to tell your friends about this UNBELIEVABLE opportunity??? My guess is, you would. You don't have to have a degree from MIT in mechanics to explain to your friend how awesome this car is. On the odd chance that your friend has never heard of a Dodge Viper, don't you think you'd be able to explain the pure awesomeness of this vehicle??

Now, ladies - (and yes, I realize I am being totally stereotypical here) .... imagine you saw the following advertisement:

Imagine that you hear of a company that provides:

• The planning, prep & clean-up of 3 meals a day, from a custom-made menu of your choice
• Full-service professional house cleaning, done at least once a week
• Professional landscaping and yard maintenance, including fresh-cut flowers & home-grown vegetables on your table daily
• On-call masseuse to relieve the stresses of your day

All of this for the total cost of $1 a year. Period. Would you snatch it up?? What if you then kept reading and saw that the company employs hundreds of workers and can service thousands of homes for the same low price? Would you know how to get every one of your friends on the phone and tell them about this??

Now, guys and gals, imagine that you saw on these advertisements that although there's no limit to how many people can take advantage of this offer -- the offer could cease to be available at any moment. Without notice, the company could stop advertising and the sports car and household services would go back to their regular price, which is way more than you could ever afford. How would you describe your level of urgency to get this message across to all of your friends? How would you tell them not to put off looking into this? Wouldn't you want to tell everyone you could, as fast as you could?

How much more urgency should we have in sharing the Way to receive eternal life? Although Jesus is offering the free gift of His grace, without any notice at all we could be at the end of our life and standing before the Judge, and we will have to explain to Him why His unbelievably good offer was not worth our consideration. And, I also believe that we will have to give an account to Jesus why we were excited to tell our friends about a good sale on laundry detergent at WalMart, but we never told that friend about the free gift of eternal life.

I hope if you're reading this and you too have said, "I don't know how to share my faith," that you don't feel like I'm beating you up or calling you a liar. I really am not. I'm simply trying to help us all take a step back and look at the situation logically. Our job is not to "convince" someone to believe what we believe - our charge is simply to share with them why we believe what we believe. Do you have a reason for your hope? Do you have a changed life? That is what we are supposed to share! Jesus once healed a demon-possessed man and then told the man, "Go and tell what great things the Lord has done for you, and how the Lord had mercy on you." That's all the man knew. Isn't that enough?

Once again, I worried for no reason

Well, today is Day 1. Yesterday I received my first infusion of a medicine called Remicade. It is the next step up the ladder for me in immunosuppression in the fight to control my Behçet's Disease. [Quick dictionary entry: BD is an autoimmune (AI) disease, kind of like a cousin to the Lupus and Crohn's family that never shows up at the family reunions. Far more rare than its cousins, BD can be difficult to treat because so little is known about it. Only 13,000 people in the US have it ... for comparison, the football stadium for my alma matter, Boise State University, fits 33,500 people. As with most AI diseases, my immune system can't tell friend from foe. Imagine an army on a hill facing an opposing army. While all the soldiers start firing on the opposition, my immune system is the lone gunman that turns and starts shooting at his own men. So my healthy cells get attacked for no reason, causing all kinds of problems. In order to fix this problem, my doctors take away the M-16 from the rogue soldier - in other words, they suppress my immune system until it can no longer effectually fight friend OR foe.]

My hubby and I are so far thrilled to be able to say that I received the infusion very well and have had NO negative side effects. I pretty much slept all day yesterday because of the Benadryl I had to take to minimize side effects - and also, I believe, just as a let-down from all my anxiety. But why was I so anxious?? We have read about Remicade since practically the onset of my BD in 2004, and have been seriously tossing around the idea of starting it for almost 2 years. Last summer was when we made the decision with my rheumatologist to formally apply for insurance approval to start it (again, one of the drawbacks of BD being so rare is that no med is FDA-approved for BD, so I have to ride the coattails of similar diseases for approval.) After several months waiting, we finally received the approval and I started the infusions yesterday. So I guess on one hand I've had plenty of time to get the jitters about this - but on the other hand, I've had plenty of time to turn my worries over to God! Hmmmf. I hate it when I'm confronted with my own hypocrisy.

I knew in the days ahead of the infusion that I had some anxiety going on. After all, who can hear the word "chemo" and not get a little freaked out? (Remicade is and isn't chemo. I don't understand a lot of the details, but I know it's now classified as chemo, but isn't a conventional, make-your-hair-fall-out chemo. From what I understand, all immunosuppressants are a form of chemo.) While I've been on meds before that are also classified as chemo (like CellCept, which nurses in the hospital give the pills to me by a spoon so I don't have to touch it - which was always weird to me. Why is it important for my skin not to touch something I'm putting in my blood stream??) - there's just something different about infusions. My first three infusions will be given at the hospital center of my doctor's office, but thankfully from then on I'll be able to receive them at the local cancer center, trading a two hour round-trip drive for 15 minutes.

What I didn't know until the morning of my infusion was just how nervous I really was. By the time we got in the car and were headed to my appointment (with my trusty best friend and husband at my side, as always), I felt sick to my stomach. I kept thinking, 'How will I be able to tell the nurse if the infusion is making me sick or if I'm just a scaredy-pants??' So while Danny drove, I laid my seat back and had some quiet time. I just prayed to God that I knew I'd gotten myself all worked up over nothing - that not only did worrying not help anything, but we all know what stress does to the body - but even more so, my worrying proved that I was not trusting God. Didn't He already know how the treatment would affect me? Didn't He already have everything in control, whether or not the new med worked for me? So why worry? No matter what my body did, I knew Who held my future.

But here's my question: would I be sitting here this morning, confident in my God and feeling all silly about my worry if I would not have reacted so well to the infusion? What if I was losing my cookies all morning? How often is our faith and thankfulness based on things going smoothly? OK, I guess what I'm really asking is, is my faith too often based on things going smoothly? It's sure cause for me to stop & think. My goal is to have the faith of Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego. I read about them talking to the king who is about to throw them in a fiery furnace (heated 7 times hotter than normal!) because they refused to worship anything other than Jehovah. They told the king that they did not fear being thrown in the furnace because they knew Jehovah could save them - but even if He didn't, they would praise Him anyway!! Do I have that faith?? No. But I pray I'm on my way.

My Three Epiphanies - #2

Welcome back! First of all, I hope you've read Epiphany #1. If not, then #2 won't make as much sense. As I said in the intro to #1, in my life I have had three major epiphanies - major breakthroughs in my thinking and understanding that have changed everything in my life. And I really do mean everything. My first epiphany at the ripe ol' age of 24 was that there is a god. And then ......

Epiphany #2 - Jesus is the Son of God
For many people, they assume that #1 is the same as #2. But let me assure you, there is a wide chasm of understanding between knowing there is a god - some kind of higher power or something supernatural in the universe - and putting a name and character traits to that God. Billions of people in this world believe #1 without believing #2. Many people believe that there are just vague forces of good and evil, that Allah is their god, or they believe in Buddhism, etc etc etc. without that higher power being the man, Jesus Christ. So how did I get from #1 to #2? A lot of research. And an open, seeking heart.

I would say that one of the hardest things when doing any kind of research is to put aside our own preconceived ideas and preferences. At the point in my life where I was between #1 and #2, I was still in much of my old mindset - namely, that religious people had swallowed "the opiate of the masses" and that in order to believe anything as antiquated as the Bible, you had to check all intellect and critical thinking at the door. I mean, that book is a few thousand years old! How in the world could it possibly relate to my life today? And besides, I'd made quite a habit of printing off lists from the internet of "Contradictions in the Bible" and using them to debate people. So don't think for a minute that I had any slant towards the Bible or Christianity! In fact, I think at that point I had given more credence to eastern religions and mysticism. (Which, it's so funny to me what we call an "eastern" religion or a "western" religion. Christianity is seen as a western religion - but why, I have no idea. It was born in Iraq and fulfilled in Israel. Not really what I think of as western society.) Anyway - I at least decided to look into Christianity. While you might hear of people who denounce particular denominations, you very rarely hear of people who turned to Jehovah (the God of the Bible) and regretted it later.

So, I set out to study. I had studied the Book of Mormon (some people very close to me were Mormon). I looked into Buddhism, as well as the native American ideas, etc.. I also decided to read the Bible, just to see what all the fuss was about. While grocery shopping in a superstore, I grabbed a Bible. It was the "So That's Why! Bible" - one that's very textbook-like. I wanted my quest to be intellectual research, and I liked how this particular book tied biblical events and times into "the real world." But, while shopping, I was afraid that people would get the wrong impression of me if they saw me buying a Bible, so I hid it under a case of beer. Every night after work I would crack a beer and crack the Bible. That particular book is laid out chronologically. Soon I would really look forward to my reading time - it was fascinating to me. I would have all my old art history books out, and when I would read about things like the apostle Paul dealing with people who were making shrines to the goddess Artemis, I would flip open my art books and look at photos of the temple of Artemis. Since my background was in art, it helped me make "real-world" correlations, which validated what the Bible was saying. There are other books that claim to be from God that do not have any such validations. The people and places mentioned have never been verified - but not so with the Bible.

The only way I can describe my experience with slowly coming to believe the Bible is that you have to read it to believe it. There's nothing I can say to convince you. And when I say "read it", I mean READ IT. I don't mean to read commentaries on it or summaries of it, or to read bits and portions of it. I mean dedicate to sit down and read it. After all, if it's false, then by reading it you'll only have more ammo against believers, right? (But again, I wholeheartedly believe in "seek and ye shall find" - or in other words, you will find what you look for. If you are only looking for things that don't make sense or things you don't agree with, you'll find plenty. If you are looking objectively at it, you will find an objective truth.) Once I had been reading the Bible for a little while, I easily came to see that the vast majority of so-called contradictions of the Bible were simply misunderstandings or things taken out of context. For example, on many lists of contradictions, you'll see things like "in Genesis 1 it says God was pleased with creation, but in Gen 6 it says He was not pleased. That's a contradiction." Really? First of all, you have to notice that there is quite a difference in the point in time these two comments were made. Most people say over 1,600 years difference. God was pleased with what He had done, but was not pleased with what man had turned His creation into. Big difference. But you'd never get that by reading two verses out of context. When you study the explanations, the contradictions seem trivial at best.

So, now that I had come to believe the Bible, I had to believe what the Bible said about things like the afterlife, the purpose of my life now, what happens to those who follow Christ and those who don't, and whether or not we have an excuse for not believing. I remember as I read the Bible for the first time, I thought, "Well even if I died now I'd be ok, because surely God wouldn't hold me accountable for something I didn't know." Right? Wow, I still remember (almost 9 years later) exactly where I was sitting when I first read, "Since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse." It goes on to talk about no person will ever be able to say that they didn't have enough evidence to believe in God, and we will all be held accountable for that. That's sobering stuff. No wonder I remember that moment 9 years later. We all understand these concepts in ordinary life, but for some reason we won't translate the logic to faith. If I was driving down the freeway doing 90mph and the cop pulled me over, could I get away with telling her that because I didn't read the speed limit sign, I shouldn't get a ticket? Of course not! Yet we act like ignorance of God's Word will somehow be a free pass on the day of judgment.

So where did this all leave me? I now believed there was a higher power at work in the universe. I now knew that higher power was Jehovah, and His Son was Jesus. Not only did Jesus come down from heaven, take the form of a man, live a perfect life to show us the will of God, but he was crucified because of *my* sin and then God raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in heaven. So what? What does that mean for my life? Well, that means everything. Everything changes. My life is no longer under my own control. The only logical thing to do was to submit myself to the God that not only has the power to create everything that has ever been created, but who has the love for me to give His Son as a sacrifice for me. He loved me enough that He would provide a way for me to be forgiven of my sin, be reconciled into a right relationship with Him, and teach me day by day how to live for Him. He would give me His Spirit to dwell inside of me to help me! He knows I am incapable of living holy on my own!! The kindness of God led me to repent of my selfish lifestyle, be baptized for the forgiveness of my sins so that I could be born to a new life full of purpose and hope. Everything changed, and I would never, ever go back to the way things were. Praise God that He has the power - and the love - to change me one day at a time.

to be continued.....

Epiphany #1

Epiphany #3

The Faith of an Atheist

Author's note: I am not trying in one blog entry to convince you that there is a god and that He is Jesus. That's not my job. All I am trying to do is to tell a tiny bit of what happened in my life that led me from being an atheist to where I am now. While I can - and should - give you all the reasons for the hope within me, unless you are willing to seek Him (on His terms), dedicate yourself to the study of His Word and to live whatever is in it, then no little blog entry will change anything. 


Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He exists, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.
Heb 11:6