The View From The Foot Of The Cross

The cross. 

The cross of our Lord is a beautiful thing.

The cross of Christ is the epitome of self-sacrifice and selfless love; it is the model for all time of what it looks like to love so much and so deep that there is no price you wouldn’t pay for that love.

In the cross is hope, and in the cross is peace. The cross of Christ is polished 18-karat gold set with brilliantly faceted diamonds, and is ushered in with a triumphal entry. It shines with the love of a Father who would pay a dear price now for a reward yet to come in eternity future; it glitters with the precious stones of a victor’s crown, and it twinkles with the faithfulness of a thousand promises fulfilled. The cross is the ultimate tool of reconciliation and of rebirth. The cross is a beautiful thing to behold.

“For God in all his fullness was pleased to live in Christ,

 and through Him God reconciled everything to Himself.

He made peace with everything in heaven and on earth

by means of Christ’s blood on the cross.” (Col 1:19,20)

The cross. 

My cross.

The cross of self is a painful thing.

The cross of self is the epitome of death to self, of the separation of the flesh and the spirit. The cross of self  is dying a thousand deaths upon the altar of Christ in order to be raised anew each time. The cross of self is death to the desires of the flesh and pride and ego.

“If any of you wants to be My follower, you must turn 

from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow Me.

If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it.

But if you give up your life for My sake, you will save it.” (Lk 9:23,24)

In my cross there is sorrow, and in my cross there is pain. The cross of self is held together with rusted iron nails driven through the splintered wood of pride with the precision of a surgeon’s knife.  There is no shine or sparkle on the cross of self. There are no palm branches lain or shouts of 'Hosanna!' in the streets on the way to the cross of self. 

“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed 

the passions and desires of their sinful nature

to his cross and crucified them there.” (Gal 5:24)

The cross of Christ was made of wood and iron and sat unmistakably atop the hill of Calvary. My cross is made of many different things, and is harder to recognize from a distance. But my cross is unflinchingly made with the same single-minded objective:  Death. Before there can be resurrection, there must be death. Before my Father can resurrect a new and perfect species from within this fallen jar of clay, there must be a death to my flesh. This death happens slowly, it happens repeatedly, and it happens constantly. It happens in a hundred small ways a day and a handful of major ways in a lifetime. 

“Whoever does not bear his own cross 
and come after Me cannot be My disciple.” (Lk 14:27)

I am confronted with my cross whenever I’m faced with the choice of living from the flesh or living from the Spirit of Christ in me - and I cannot live through the Spirit of Christ until the flesh has died. I stare at the foot of my own cross when I’m faced with the decision of maintaining a relationship by the silence of my lips, or of surrendering the relationship by speaking the gospel. What is honey in one heart is bitter in another, and only the Lord can sort the two. 

“He is the stone that makes people stumble,

the rock that makes them fall.” (1 Pet 2:8)

I am faced with my own cross when anything in my life is more treasured in my heart than my Lord. Because the Lord knows my heart, He knows what it is I have put between Him and me, and He will find a way to bring  it into light. And then, when I am faced with the choice between holding onto what is most precious to me and my Lord, I am at the foot of my own cross.  

“If you love father or mother more than you love Me,

you are not worthy of being Mine;

or if you love son or daughter more than Me,

you are not worthy of being Mine.” (Mat 10:37)

I stare at the foot of my own cross when people insult me and say all matter of negative things about me because of Him, and when I am faced with the decision to defend my pride or surrender the outcome to the Judge who sees the heart and judges perfectly and fairly. I stand at the foot of my cross when I feel the pull of my flesh and yet yield to the Spirit. 

“God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the earth.

God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God.

God blesses those who work for peace,

for they will be called the children of God.

God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right,

for the kingdom of heaven is theirs.

God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you

and lie about you and say all sorts of  evil things against you

because you are My followers.

A great reward awaits you in heaven.” (Mat 5)

When we behold the cross of Christ, it is a beautiful sight. It is beautiful because we are looking back - through the lens of the resurrection - and behold the cross. When we behold the cross of self, we see the view from Calvary; we are surrounded with soldiers and thieves and weeping women, and our eyes have not yet beheld the glory of the incorruptible creation on the other side. Yet it is on this cross of self that God can do His most glorious work, which is creating something new and perfect in His image out of our fallen lump of clay. Surely God is present with us in that time of transformation. 

“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.
The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
All this is from God..." (2 Cor 5:17)

The painful part, though, it that before the house can be rebuilt, the foundation has to be cleared; all of our fleshly desires must first be put to death.  And yet, even in the midst of pain, torment and death, we can still hear the voice of our Savior whispering a promise to us that on the other side of this cross there is One who awaits us.

“You will be with Me in Paradise.” (Lk 23:43)

So when you look around and find yourself at the foot of your cross - where the skies are dark and your company is thieves - you might want to remove your shoes, for the place you are standing is holy ground.
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See this link for a great article about the cross by Frank Viola.

What If . . . ???

What if the answer wasn't a better band or a new praise team?
What if the answer wasn't a new preacher?
What if the answer wasn't a million-dollar renovation of the building, or even a new coat of paint?
What if the answer wasn't another specialized ministry for every possible group of people in the church by age, gender, marital status, work status, addiction or struggle?
What if the answer wasn't a more hip youth minister or better childcare or a more fun children's church?
What if the answer wasn't new songs? Or old songs?
What if the answer wasn't better training for our "worship leaders"?

What if the answer was Jesus?

What if the answer wasn't better sermons or more humor, personality or emotion from the speakers?
What if the answer wasn't more small groups?
What if the answer wasn't more community projects or a better VBS or more fun Bible camps?
What if the answer wasn't more guilt?
What if the answer wasn't about money?
What if the answer wasn't a better model of evangelism?
What if the answer wasn't new Bible studies or memory verses?

What if the answer was that we quit "going to church," and instead decided to live as the church?

What if the answer was simply . . . Jesus?

What if Jesus is telling us today the same thing He told His first disciples: "Follow Me"?

What if we set our hearts to love Jesus above everything and everyone else? What if we truly loved Him with our entire heart, soul, mind and strength? How would our lives change? How would our world change? I once heard the question asked: "If you could go to heaven with everyone you have ever loved, with no sickness, sorrow or pain, and you could enjoy all of the pleasures you desire for all of eternity -- but Jesus would not be there -- would you still want to go?" I think our deep, honest answer to that question is quite telling. What if we meditated on Jesus' statement: "Whoever loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me"? What if we could guarantee that our children and spouses would be in heaven with us, but Jesus would not be there? Would we still want to go?

What if Jesus is telling us today the same thing He told a rich young man so many years ago: "Sell all you have and give it to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me"? 

What impact would we have on the world if we, collectively as Christians, sold our million-dollar buildings (or multi-million dollar buildings, more like) ... sold all the real estate and stained glass and pews and offices and fellowship halls and gymnasiums we've built up "in the name of God" and gave that straight to the poor? How many billions of dollars would we have available for actually helping people? (As just one aspect of this, note that a study states that the yearly cost of religious tax exemptions in the US alone is $71,000,000,000. That's billion, with a "b".) And then, without billions of dollars wrapped up in real estate (real estate that's used for, what, a handful of hours a week??), we wouldn't have to continue pouring money into insurance, taxes, building maintenance, lawn mowing, administrative costs .... just think of all the money that would suddenly be freed for kingdom use! 

What if we actually believed - and corporately lived - the reality that there is only one High Priest (Jesus) and that every.single.Christian. belongs to the household of priests? That no Christian is above any other? That there is no hierarchy possible under Christ? What if I took back all the responsibility that I have surrendered for so long to one (or a small handful) of specially-trained and 'pedigreed' men and women, and took to heart the words of Paul when he says that "each one of you has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation ..." to share when Christians get together? What would it be like if we all took responsibility for sharing the Christ that dwells in each one of us? And speaking of getting together -- what if we lived as a shared-life community, instead of associates that simply meet at an appointed time (say, once a week)? What if we stripped ourselves of all titles, status and positions? What if we gauged greatness among us by seeing who has humbled himself and served others and loved others the most, instead of by seminary degrees, prestige, titles or money?

What if we shifted our energy as a collective body? What if, instead of focusing so much attention on what does or doesn't happen during one hour a week, we started focusing on the other 167 hours in a week? What if we didn't look for rules & regulations & things we can check off a list for God, but instead we walk in mercy, justice and righteousness? 

What if we stripped down everything we think we know about religion until we were left with only Jesus? (❝..."How will we know the way?" Jesus said to him, "I am the way ... "❞) What if the answer is not more, but less? Not more ritual, or more study, or more works, but simply Jesus? What if I pursued such a relationship with Him that everything in my life radiated from that singular point? What if, instead of creating false illusions of spirituality by having certain people assigned to bring certain songs or teachings or revelations, we actually let the Spirit of Christ lead us, in a real and tangible way, not just whenever we get together organically with other believers but all throughout our lives? What if we lived as if the Spirit of Christ and the Spirit of the One who raised Him from the dead - the Creator of everything that has ever been created - actually dwells inside each one of us? What if we lived as though we were the vehicle for the Spirit of the Divine?

What if . . . ???

Two Bodies, One Disease

In my body, the wiring of my immune system is all awry. The green wire is evidently connected to the black, the white wire is connected to the blue, and the red wire is just left bare and exposed. The result? I have a very, very hard working immune system - but it puts all its energy in the wrong places. Basically, it can't tell friend from foe - so it ends up attacking my own healthy cells as vigorously as it would attack a foreign threat. The way I've explained it to my nieces is to imagine two armies facing off in battle: the invading troops have all their guns pointed at their opponent, but the "home team," with all their guns, turn and aim at one another! What would the result of that war be? Total annihilation of the home team!

Welcome to my body.

So how are autoimmune diseases treated? The most common way is to disable the immune system, or at least to cripple it. (Basically, the guns are taken away from the army. They are left with pocketknives to fight a war.) With different levels of severity, medications are given that shut off the body's ability to fight -- the same medications that are given to organ transplant patients to prevent Graft Vs. Host disease. The good part about that is my body quits attacking healthy cells (OK, so it reduces the amount,) but unfortunately it means I'm also less able to fight off real threats, like the chicken pox and pneumonia that hospitalized me this year.

So it's a lifelong game of walking a balance beam, trying on one hand to minimize the amount of self-attacks, but at the same time leaving some kind of arsenal for my body to fight off the true threats.

But there's another body I have seen that suffers from the same autoimmune disorder.

And that is the body of Christ.

❝For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.❞
--Eph 6:12

Or, at least, we should be.

But what I see happening with startling prevalence is that we do fight flesh and blood -- and to the heartbreak of our Lord, we too often fight one another. We war within the very body of Christ.

We erect a building and we call it a church, and then we hang a painted sign over the door with a name that we feel designates us to be the right ones of God. Or we meet in a living room and feel spiritually superior to those who don't. And heaven help those who meet under a different umbrella!!! We grab onto a piece of doctrine and claim that those who don't subscribe to our brand of doctrine (which of course is THE right doctrine) are not as close to God as we are.

But this isn't new.

Jesus scolded his disciples about this very thing. Once, 'The Twelve' told Jesus about something they had done, undoubtedly proud of it and expecting kudos from the Lord. "Teacher," they said, "We saw a man using Your name to cast out demons, but we told him to stop because he isn't one of our group." Can you hear the pride in that statement? He isn't one of our group. Can you see the Twelve fist-bumping each other for their brilliant move and holding out their fists to Jesus, expecting Him to fist-bump them back? But He rebuked them.  "Don't stop him!" Jesus said. [Imagine the shock on the disciples' faces right about now.] "Anyone who is not against us is for us." [BAM.] Jesus then went on to say that it would be better for anyone who causes someone to lose their faith in Him if they'd had a 130-lb rock tied to their neck and they were thrown in the sea. Wow! Can't you see the disciples' egos deflating like an untied helium balloon?

Ever since the beginning, followers of Jesus have had to fight the temptation to view the world in terms of "us" and "them." Instead of berating disciples for doing something differently, might Jesus want us to encourage them for following the Lord?

We put being right above being loving.

But this isn't new.

Two thousand years ago, Paul of Tarsus had to deal with believers in Galatia who were being nasty to each other. He encouraged these believers to "serve one another through love," reminding them that the entire Law and every prophet's message could be distilled down to one thing: Love. "But," he warned them, "If instead of showing love among yourselves you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out! Beware of destroying one another." So we should live according to our new life in the Holy Spirit!

"What horrible people those were way back then! I'm glad we're not like that today," we say.

HA! OK, so what does autoimmune disease in the body of Christ look like today? As I said above, one major symptom is the sign hung above the door of the building some call churches. Within 5 minutes of meeting another believer, I can almost guarantee the question, "Where do you go to church?" will be asked. There is only one purpose of these titles and names: To divide ourselves. What is a denomination, other than a portion being denominated (divided) from the whole? Oddly enough, there are even certain groups who say that they are not a denomination. (If that's not an oxymoron, I don't know what is!) They come up with definitions of a denomination with only the traits they don't possess; for example, a common one I've heard is that you're not a denomination if you don't have a central governing body (such as the regional, national and international chains of command). But having a hierarchy outside a local group is not the definition of a denomination. Being divided from the whole is the definition of a denomination!

Other ways we see spiritual autoimmunity is in spreading gossip about one another, by not helping one another when we have the means to help, by not becoming invested in one another's lives - you know, being a true community and family! Instead, we go about our everyday lives without connecting with each other in meaningful and sacrificial ways. The picture of the earliest church is an astoundingly beautiful one, but unfortunately it is all too uncommon in our day.

It is long past time that we drop all the walls of division among believers. What would happen if we truly took seriously Jesus' prayer in the garden before His arrest? Imagine you are God made flesh, standing on the earth for the last time as a free man, before your arrest and execution. You have only a short amount of time to talk to your Father in heaven. Don't you think that what that prayer includes would be some mighty important stuff? I do! And that's why the fact that Jesus uses this time to pray that the people who believe in Him would be united in the truth by the Spirit is no small thing. Yet it seems like we are continually inventing new ways to divide from one another and attack each other!

Jesus showed no partiality when He walked the earth 2,000 years ago. He loved, served, and taught those within His circle and those outside of it. By example and by word, He taught His disciples to do the same thing - and then He told those disciples to teach & show others how to do the same. At every turn, Jesus and His apostles tried to nip division in the bud -- yet it flourishes today.

Jesus said, "Love each other. Just as I have loved you, love each other. Your love for each other will prove that you are My disciples."

Yet Gandhi said, "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ."

Read that quote again, and let it break your heart.

If we, as those who bear the name of Jesus Christ, cannot truly love each other, how can we love unbelievers? How can we even claim to love God?

If we cannot stop biting and devouring one another, how can we expect to have anything appealing to offer the world?

We must remember that other believers - yes, even those who think differently - are not the enemy. ("He who is not against Me.....") If we are not a source of healing & love for the other members of the same body we are a part of, how could we ever help heal others? We also need to remember that the enemy is not the people outside of the church. Because we are a priesthood, our job is to intercede to God on behalf of those people! (Think of Abraham & Moses who pleaded that God would not destroy the people because of their disobedience.)

So as I will be doing, I would highly encourage you to go before our Advocate, Jesus Christ, and ask Him to reveal the ways in which you & I could improve in the way we show love for one another. Not in word, but in action. In the kind of way that would rock the foundation of our society, because love like this cannot come from any natural source. A love like this is truly supernatural, and I believe the world would sit up and take notice if they saw this kind of love in action. Instead of adding fuel to the enemy's fire, let us kindle a holy love between one another that would spark into the hearts of others.

Our God in heaven is the Great Physician, and He has the power to heal this spiritual autoimmune disease that is running rampant in the body of His Son. What is the treatment? An overflowing and constant dose of LOVE. Love for Jesus, love for His Body (which is Jesus in the flesh, a.k.a. the church), and love for others. Are we willing to submit to this treatment? (There is no danger of overdose!) My final thought for you is from 1st John (which is an excellent source of encouragement in this area):

❝Let us love one another, for love is of God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God ... if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another ... if we love one another, God abides in us ... God is love and the one who abides in love abides in God ... If someone says, "I love God," but hates his brother, he is a liar.❞

What are some practical things we can each change in our own lives (with the emphasis on introspection, not  jumping right back in the U.S.S Criticize-Your-Brother ship) that will help heal this systemic disease and repair the damage?

One Sentence that Could Change the World

Once upon a time a group of highly religious people callously threw a woman, guilty of sexual sin, in the dust at the feet of Jesus. She had knowingly acted in a way that was against God's design. According to the design of God - according to the very nature of God, who by nature cannot be in the presence of sin - the wages of her sin was a death sentence. And the crowd who had brought her to the feet of Jesus - who claimed to speak for God Himself - was chomping at the bit to have that sentence carried out right then and there; they held the weapons in their hands that would be used to execute the woman. This moment was an incredibly combustible face-off between two of the most powerful forces of the day: in one corner stood the religious elite - the people who held the title of God's chosen race and holy nation, the people whose charge it was to represent the great I Am to a world outside of that covenant and who did not know God; what the world knew about God was what they learned through observing this holy nation of chosen people. And in the other corner stood Jesus, who claimed to be the very Son of God Himself. Not only did He speak exclusively for God, but He was God.

They asked Jesus again and again and demanded an answer.

But Jesus just sat down and started doodling in the dirt.

As you can imagine, this didn't make the mob happy. Finally, after much pestering, Jesus stood up and faced the angry mob of the religious elite. He looked them in the eye and instructed the woman to be stoned -- as long as the stoning began by the person in the crowd who had no sin throwing the first rock.

One by one, oldest to youngest, every single person in the angry crowd left. Soon only Jesus and the woman remained.

Upon noting that no one was left to condemn the woman, Jesus told the woman one single sentence - one that just might change the world. "Neither do I condemn you," Jesus said. "Now go your way and sin no more." 

The woman walked in expecting to be executed - and she walked away a free woman. After one meeting with Jesus, her life was forever changed.

There's four things about this event that I believe are absolutely pivotal.

◆ Jesus refused to get caught up in the emotion of the moment. He wouldn't jump on the bandwagon of hate and condemnation towards the woman, and yet He didn't act hateful towards the self-righteous either. He kept His cool.

◆ Jesus reminded the religious elite what they had evidently forgotten: that they too had fallen far short of the glory of God. They had no room to treat the woman as if they embodied God's law perfectly -- regardless of whether or not they had ever committed the same sin that this woman stood condemned for, they had nonetheless sinned. And if you were guilty of breaking one part of the law, you were guilty of the weight of the whole law.

◆ The fact that these people were guilty of sin did not excuse the behavior of the woman. Jesus then addressed her - but He did so in love and with compassion; He did not demean her or belittle her. In fact, He forgave her. He did the unthinkable and said that He did not condemn her.

◆ Far from excusing what she had done and the gravity of the situation, Jesus addressed her sinful life head-on. After forgiving her and wiping her slate clean, he told her to "go and sin no more." He recognized that what she had done was sin, and that she should never do this again. Because of the love she received from Him, He expects her life to look differently. She had been given a charge by the Son of God to change her life -- and I would think that being given the chance to walk away from death row would emblazon that on her heart in a way that made her think long & hard about that advice and her choice of lifestyles.

So why is this so important? Because frankly, in most conversations about sin I hear (and worse, what I see in the media), people ignore #1, have forgotten #2, refuse #3 and skip over #4. If we act like #3 and #4 are an either/or buffet; we either focus on excusing people of their sin, or we take it upon ourselves to campaign for everyone else to "go and sin no more." Typically that involves a lot of finger pointing and quoting our favorite "clobber verses." God's Word should be used as a healing balm, and not as a way to cauterize an open wound we just inflicted.

If we emphasize only #3 (Jesus' statement that He did not condemn the woman in sin) while neglecting #4 (the second half of Jesus' sentence warning her not to sin any more), we have perverted Jesus' message and are in danger of endorsing what has been called "cheap grace." But the flip side of that coin is just as dangerous! If all we talk about are the laws and "Thou Shalt Not's," then God becomes nothing more than a supernatural bully who is eagerly waiting for each of us to trip up so He can strike us with lightning and the full power of His wrath. That is not the God I know! That is not the God of the Bible! That is not Jesus!

I recently read an interesting blog post about some disturbing trends among Christendom today, and I thought the author made one especially poignant observation. Even though 80% of youth will leave "church" by the time they hit 30, the reasons they give for leaving - such as the experience of Christianity being shallow, or the church being antagonistic to unbelievers - "[U]pon heavy scrutiny [of their reasons for leaving], none of this remotely sounded like Jesus, so He wasn't the problem, which was a relief because when having a faith crisis, you don't want to discover your Main Character is a fraud. As far as I can tell, Jesus is still the easiest sell on earth, because if you don't love a guy who healed lepers and pulled children onto His lap and silenced the religious elite and ate and drank with sinners, then you just don't know Him."

The GOOD NEWS is that when we are humbly at the feet of Jesus, He will not condemn us. He will help us to our feet and dust us off. When Jesus encounters a person caught up in sin, He doesn't jump on the bandwagon of those who ignore their own sin while accusing others'. Instead, He extends love to the person, and He then adjures that person to change their life.

Is that what happens when you or I encounter a person caught up in sin?

God is love, so the only way we can accurately represent Him is by loving others.

"By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another." 
--Jesus

Integrity - at what cost?

"Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it."
--Gordon R. Dickson, American author

I wonder how often Jesus has said the same thing?

Put plainly, if our study of God's Word is an intellectual journey void of real-world application, it's a false journey that does not please God. Time and again the Holy Spirit tells us that it is the "doing" of God's word that is important, not the hearing. Are you ever struck by situations in your life that cause you to come face-to-face with a principle, and you're put in a position of having to decide if you'll live out what you've claimed in theory? That happened to me today.

This last Sunday, my husband co-taught a Bible class based on Jesus' "sermon on the mount," and this particular lesson was all about deep integrity. Jesus calls us to be people of such integrity that there's no oath or swearing we can add to our words that would make them be any more meaningful. In class they read from Randy Harris' book, "Living Jesus" about a question Randy poses his students every year. We all like to say that we are honest people and wouldn't lie, but Randy challenges us to see if we would stick to that when the stakes are high. Here's his scenario (and I'm paraphrasing it here):

Imagine you are a college senior in the last semester before graduation. You are an accounting major and seemingly have everything lined up perfectly; you have a fiancé ready to marry you after graduation, you have a job offer with a reputable firm, and everything seems to be falling into place. The only problem is, you find out that you are short one class in Literature of all subjects! The registrar fits you in to the last class available on classic American literature. All semester long you plod through books like The Scarlet Letter, Huckleberry Finn, and To Kill a Mockingbird. You've read each one and done well on the tests. The final book assigned is Moby Dick -- all 800+ pages of it. And it's all about whaling. You are from a small farming town in Kansas, and the thought of reading about whaling - especially with the semester winding down and all of the graduation ducks lining up - is just more than you can bear ... so you read the Cliff's Notes and watch both Moby Dick movies. You feel confident that you can answer any question on the final regarding any question the professor could throw at you about Moby Dick. But to your shock, when the final is handed out there is only one question to the whole exam: Did you read "Moby Dick?" Your Literature grade - your credits necessary for college graduation - which are needed to land that good job and be able to marry your waiting fiancé -- that all rests on the back of one question. Did you read "Moby Dick?"

What would you answer?

According to Randy Harris, year after year 95% of his students say they would lie on the question. (He also wonders how many of the 5% lied about the fact that they would lie.)

Today I had an appointment with my rheumatologist - the specialist who coordinates the bulk of the care regarding my very rare autoimmune condition, Behçet's Disease (BD). Because my disease is so rare - the most common figure I hear is that there is somewhere between 10,000-15,000 people in the United States with that condition. (For comparison, the football stadium at my alma mater - Boise State University - currently holds 34,000 people.) Last spring I started receiving infusions of a chemotherapy drug called Remicade to treat my BD, but because Remicade is not labeled by the FDA for use with BD, my insurance company revoked the coverage and I had to discontinue my infusions - therefore losing the benefits I had already gained in just 3 treatments. In my appointment today my doctor talked to me about some of my options - but sadly, there aren't too many out there. (The next medication we're looking to start is Enbrel, which would be a weekly injection I would give myself in the muscles in my abdomen.) The same problem exists with every medication - there is no such thing as a medication labeled by the FDA for Behçet's. Most insurance companies will approve "lesser" medications in a situation like this, when valid use can be assumed for conditions similar to those on the label. However, the more expensive the medication gets the more incentive the insurance company has to deny the claim - and considering that each Remicade infusion costs around $20,000 (and I'd get an infusion every 6 weeks), they have a lot of incentive to deny me! To fully understand the benefit of these medications you'd have to fully understand the devastating effects of a chronic autoimmune disease like BD, which is not something I'll get into in this post. Suffice it to say it is a life-altering disease, which steals away much quality of life from those who have it and the loved ones around them. There is no cure, and few adequate treatments.

So here's where it gets sticky: my rheumatologist suggested that he simply write into my chart a diagnosis that I don't have (such as Rheumatoid Arthritis) - one that is already on the label for the medications we are considering - so that I could be approved, receive the medication, and better control my symptoms thus improving our quality of life.

  

What would you answer?

This reminds me all too much of the warning we find in the book of Job:

"Be careful, do not turn to evil, for you have preferred this to affliction."

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Contrary to Popular Opinion

At one time or another we've all been excited to see a movie because of all the hype we've heard about it - only to be dismally disappointed. (I'm still sore about the fact that I lost two hours of my life to watching "Transformers 2.") In fact, it's gotten to the point where the more hype I hear about a movie, the less interested I am in seeing it. Some shows that are known as "classics" just boggle my mind for how they've stood the test of time (all I really remember from "Gone With The Wind" was that a snobby girl made herself a dress out of curtains. And there was a fire. Frankly my dear .....) In one setting or another I think we've all experienced that feeling of total befuddlement when what we were told to expect doesn't match up to the actual scenario -- and I don't think there's a difference when it comes to matters of faith.

If there's one thing I've learned from reading the Bible for myself, it's that it doesn't say 95% of what people say it says.

Put another way, there have been times that I've wondered if I'm even reading the same Bible as other people. I've heard the quotes fly ... I've heard the philosophies explained ... I've seen the examples of what people say are biblical traits .... only to become convinced I must be reading an alien translation.

You know what I think the #1 reason is for this? People don't read the Bible. Christians don't read the Bible. Oh they might read an individual verse or section here and there - maybe they even have it written in an elegant font overlaid on a beautiful sunset photo - but they don't read the Bible. Let me be more specific: People don't read the Bible first, and then come up with conclusions. We have conclusions in our minds and then read the Bible for passages to use for justification. There are few conversations that have ever occurred in which tiny snippets couldn't be extracted from their context, rearranged, and Frankenstein-ed into some conversation foreign to the original meaning. Imagine for a moment that someone went through your sent emails and only pulled individual sentences out and pasted them into a new email. What crazy things could be written in your own words?? I'm not saying that most people intentionally distort the Bible. I'm saying that anything taken out of context could be dangerous - and more often than not, things from the Bible are taken out of context. Most often we hear people talk about individual verses - or worse, parts of individual verses - but rarely do we ever hear people talking about the big picture. We have memory verses* coming out our ears (and mouths), and the shorter they are the better. But how often do we talk about the principles, the situation, the context behind those verses??

Every spring near graduation time I see all kinds of paraphernalia - like picture frames and keychains and coffee mugs - sporting the uplifting "Scriptural promise" to the new grads: "I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11) But do we EVER stop to wonder if God was actually talking to the present-day graduates from Yuba City High School when He said that?? Does it even apply to graduates, or newlyweds, or me? Does every verse in the Bible translate and apply directly to my life?

Are you shaking your head 'yes, it does' right now? OK, then try this on for size:

"Curse God and die." Job 2:9
"Continue in sin so that grace may increase." Romans 6:1
"You go, and do likewise." Luke 10:37
"Jesus said to him, 'What you are going to do, do quickly.'" John 13:27
OK OK OK ... so that was obviously an exaggerated example to prove a point. I don't hear many people going around preaching that we should curse God and die ..... but I do hear people seriously teaching all kinds of other things that are found nowhere in Scripture. How many times have we heard someone quote, "Thou shalt not judge" (which I personally think is the world's favorite Scripture), yet they never quote, "Judge with righteous judgment." Why is that?? Because they pick out the verse that suits their agenda and they fail to read the entire context. It's no wonder why some say the Bible is full of confusion and contradictions! A simple reading of the whole context is usually enough to dispel those allegations.  Some of the out-of-context things or matters of pure opinion that are believed/taught make no difference in the big picture of life. Whether or not a person believes that God used 6 literal 24-hour days or periods of time means nothing to my daily life (unless, of course, I make this matter of opinion an issue of fellowship; sadly this is done all too often). But what about the parts of Scripture that are sorely taken out of context and taught as a complete doctrine, when what the Bible teaches is drastically different?

.......

I just erased a big paragraph of examples that I had written. You know why? (a) This post is long enough already; but more importantly, (b) it's not about taking MY word for it. All I'm trying to do here is encourage people to read the Bible for themselves. All of it. Repeatedly. From different perspectives. We need to have the whole picture in mind before we have any business dissecting tiny parts of it. I am absolutely convinced that we - as a society (believers & not) need to take a loooong, hard, fresh look at what we've been convinced the Bible teaches. We need to be much slower to jump to the defense and longer to listen to those who have differing views. Whether or not you are a believer, reading the whole Bible for yourself will be one of the most "wait a minute!!!" moments you've had (and yes, I am also speaking to those who've read it many, many times. I could (and might?) write an entire post on the filters with which we approach the Bible.) The first time I ever read the Bible (before I even believed there was a god), my biggest impression of it all was: This doesn't teach at all what I've always heard that it taught. It's only been in the last couple years that I've been able to take a step back again and look at the Word of God afresh .... only to realize again - and even more so - that what I took in as "fact" was SO much more tradition and our culture than Scripture. I dare you ........ I triple dog dare you ...... to read the Bible for yourself.

And if right now all you are thinking about is all "those people" who have distorted and decontextualized Scripture, you've missed my entire point.

God is not the Author of confusion - yet we end up confused by the tidbits we have pulled out of context. We try to assemble a car while leaving half the pieces on the bench. I believe this is where the wisdom lies in the psalmist's statement, "The sum of Your word is truth." Jesus says that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. It is likely that if you feel weighed down by the demands & commands of Christianity that you have swallowed more tradition & manmade doctrine than you have ingested the pure & simple words of the Lord. I know I did, for several years. Peeling back the layers of tradition from the pure Word of God is the most liberating thing I've ever done! One thing I need to specify though, just in case I have left a wrong impression: I am not claiming to have the monopoly on understanding God's Word. I am only saying that the one thing I do know for sure is that in too many people's minds, we have inextricably woven the laws & opinions of man with the pure Word of God.

*I'm not saying that memorizing parts of Scripture is bad; it can be quite helpful in some situations. I'm saying we have dissected the Word as a whole so much that it is hardly recognizable when we try to reassemble all the bite-sized pieces.

If You're Going to Steal, Steal BIG.

I used to be a total kleptomaniac. I can't count how many small items I have taken through the years, from jewelry to clothes to candy, etc.. In fact, I had such a reputation for it that when a friend of mine and I would go shopping, she would go around and slyly point out items that she wanted, and then I'd come around and swipe them for her.

How dumb of me. How selfish.

In recent years, that has turned around 180º. Not long ago in the checkout line at WalMart, I asked the cashier to ring up my Pepsi twice. When she asked why, I told her that the last time I came to WalMart I grabbed a Pepsi out of the cooler while waiting in line and drank it, intending to ring it up with my groceries ... but I forgot; it wasn't until I got home late that night I realized I hadn't included it in my purchase!! Basically, I stole it without meaning to!! So this time I would ring up the Pepsi twice and it would cover it. The cashier stared dumbfounded at me. She asked me three times if I was sure I wanted to ring it up twice. She'd never heard of anyone doing this. Why would I not want to pay now for a Pepsi I took home without paying for it before? Was my soul really worth so little??

So here's what I was thinking about recently: doesn't it make more sense to steal something REALLY BIG as opposed to stealing something worth a few bucks? I mean, think of it this way: What is the price of your soul? If Satan dangled in front of your nose an abandoned briefcase with 3 million dollars in it, would you take it? What about if you knew you could get away with it? What about stealing a car - would you ever consider committing Grand Theft Auto? Most of us would say no. What about slipping a Snickers bar in your pocket on the way out of the store? What about charging a customer a bit more than you know your product is worth, or doing dishonest business?

Before I go any farther let me clarify one thing: if I steal something, that doesn't mean I'm eternally condemned. What condemns me is being outside of Christ. Similarly, if I stop stealing, I'm not suddenly going to heaven. Only those "in Christ" are in the kingdom of God ... not those who do or don't do a certain checklist of actions. Yet we are told repeatedly that thieves have no place in the kingdom of God. Does it say only thieves who steal large amounts? Nope. Stealing a candy bar or supplies from your employer counts the same eternally as embezzling millions of dollars from Enron. Dishonest is dishonest; the size of the lie doesn't matter.

So the next time you're tempted to keep the few extra bucks that the cashier handed you by accident, or when you're tempted to use company time or resources for personal use, or to slip something in your pocket or purse without paying for it, ask yourself this: Are you really worth SO little? Is the price of your soul so cheap? Would you trade a trustworthy reputation for $5? Certainly you think more highly of yourself than that.

I believe wholeheartedly that Satan is active day and night, searching for souls to devour. He sees our weaknesses and sees what works to get us off track. Why would he bother leaving a briefcase with $3M in it in front of you, when he knows you've already sold out for a $8 pair of earrings? When you steal from your boss? By falling for those cheap tricks, you show Satan, the world, and God just how little you value your own soul.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that stealing ANYthing is worth it. In fact, I don't believe that there is anything on this earth worth your soul. Many have heard the questions, "What does it gain a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what would a man give in exchange for his soul?" So you could acquire this whole entire world and it still wouldn't be enough to justify the price of your soul. How much less, then, a candy bar or pirated music?

What is your soul worth?

The Faith of an Atheist

"Faith, hope and love...

But the dumbest of these is faith."

(Summarizing a common thought of atheists)

Recently I celebrated nine years of being in Christ. Wow! Where did the time go?? In some ways I look back and it seems like it flew by - like maybe it's only been a year or two. Could my life really be that different now? But other times it feels like my life "B.C." (yes, "Before Christ") was another lifetime ... eons ago ... a vague dream that's hard to remember when waking.

So when I look back, what do I see? I can confidently tell you one thing: I have truly learned the meaning of the saying, "The more I know, the more I realize I don't know." Things that used to be so obvious to me - things I accepted about my faith and Christianity as a whole - that seemed rock-solid in my mind have become anything but solid. Now don't get scared - I'm not doubting my faith or Jesus at all. In fact I can easily say my faith and my confidence in Jesus as the Son of God is firmer now than it has ever been. I'm just talking about the application of that faith. But .... I digress. That's not where I'm going today.

I've already written about some of the things that went into my journey from being an atheist to a follower of Jesus, but of course there's no blog post long enough to describe all of it! Right now I want to dive into a topic that to me - when I was an atheist - was the worst "f" word in the world: faith. <<shudder>> What a horrible thing. What a check your brain at the door kind of trait. Who would want to be known by their faith?? It's practically like boasting about how low your IQ is.

Isn't it??

At the ripe ol' age of 24, I began really questioning my beliefs and worldview. At that point I was a "card-carrying atheist" (well, if there had been a card to carry for being an atheist, I would have carried it. I at least had the obligatory "Darwin fish" on my bumper.) I was as far left as you can imagine ... and probably a tad farther. I was convinced that if everyone in the world just put on their thinking caps for 5 solid minutes and were willing to set aside millennia of Dark Ages lore, they'd quickly realize how absurd it is to believe in some big guy in the sky just talking things into existence or destroying them. (Kinda makes you think of Tim from Monty Python's "Holy Grail" movie, doesn't it?) I mean, that's on par with thinking that I can get to heaven because I've eaten some dead guy's flesh and drank his blood, or that a bunch of strong guys from another world come across a rainbow bridge to help us poor little humans by fighting with a super-tough hammer, or that life began on earth by aliens sending tiny bacteria cells hitchhiking on a rock from space to earth ..... oh wait, that last one really is a belief some atheists (like Steven Dawkins) hold. Never mind that one.

Aren't we supposed to be in the age of science by now? Isn't it time we all give up on these crazy "grown-up Santa Claus" fantasies of God and bite down on the cold, hard truth that there is no meaning to life and that we are just one big cosmic accident?? Wanting something to be true doesn't make it true. If it did, I wouldn't have to be going to the gym to trim my rumpus; because I want it thinner it would be.

But I soon had to come to grips with my own cold, hard truth: The fact that I had come to the point of wanting there to be no God - then I wouldn't be accountable to anything beyond my own selfish agenda - didn't mean that there wasn't a God. I had been living in a way that was consistent with my world view: nothing's wrong if everyone involved consents; survival of the fittest meant I should be concerned with "me and mine" only. But yet ..... in the still, dark quiet of the night .... there was always something eating away at me. Some deep voice inside me kept reminding me that no matter how I justified it, I knew that living like this wasn't right. I knew it. But that doesn't mean I'd admit it. So I tried to drown out that voice - literally. I poured enough alcohol over that voice to drown an elephant - yet it kept whispering. And despite an ever-increasing amount of numbing self-medicating, that voice grew steadily louder. And louder. And louder. It about drove me mad. Finally I came to a breaking point - quite literally. SOMEthing wasn't adding up in my life - but I didn't know what that was. All I knew is that what I rationalized in my mind did not jive with what my heart screamed. Finally, I caved. I decided to reexamine everything. And I mean everything. What I did for a living, where I lived, who I spent my time with, my politics, my worldview, my opinions on life and death and God and afterlife and faith and all that. Everything was on the chopping block. I made a wholehearted decision that I would examine everything with as little bias as I could manage. If after investigation I concluded my previous belief, then so be it. I'd stick with it. But if I came to a different conclusion ..... then everything would change. And I mean everything.

There was one thing above everything else that was the nail in the coffin of my atheism. Once I jumped this obstacle, I had to look at everything differently. Nothing was the same. "What's the difference," I asked myself, "between me reading my science textbooks and believing it, and me listening to my biology professors and believing them -- and a Christian who reads their Bible and listens to their preacher and believes them?" At first all the justifications flooded my brain, like "My textbooks are based on fact. There are proofs. There are experiments that prove the conclusions. There's physical evidence. A Bible is just written by a bunch of guys who didn't even know each other over thousands of years. And it's full of contradictions." However, in an effort to be true to my resolve to give everything a fair shake, I kept thinking it out. Soon I realized that my Biology textbook is in its 7th edition. Why do they revise science books? It's not just for updated graphics. It's because they've proven some things and disproven others, and new theories have come out. After all, isn't it called the Theory of Evolution? The plain fact of the matter is that when I read my textbook, I believe that those experiments actually happened as they were reported. I believe that the author wouldn't lie to me and publish bogus stuff. I believe that my professor teaches me what s/he has personally seen proven. But I never saw those things. I never saw that fossil. I take what I read and hear on faith. WHOA!!!!! Did I just say I had FAITH!?!?!! YIKES!!!!! If anyone ever hears me say that, they'll revoke my atheist card!!!!

But it made sense. And I couldn't shake that thought. I walked around all day thinking, "I have faith. I've had to have faith to believe in science. That just doesn't make sense. Yet it makes perfect sense." When it really comes down to it, doesn't everything we believe in take faith? Even what we see with our own eyes and touch with our own fingers takes faith that it is real - that we aren't hallucinating - that we're not out of our minds.

The moment I realized that I've had faith all along, suddenly Christians didn't seem so dumb. (Well ok, they were still pretty dumb but not totally dumb.) After all, isn't it all just a matter of where you place your faith? Not whether or not you have faith?

So at that moment I decided to give the Bible a fair chance. I would read it from cover to cover, without going on a witch hunt or with an agenda to prove it wrong -- simply just to read it and see what all the fuss was about. After all, I'd never read it. I'd made a lifetime of arguing against its validity, yet I'd never read it. The closest I'd come was to hearing the same chapter from the gospel of Luke recited every Christmas Eve service I was forced to go to, and in printing off lists from the internet about all the contradictions. But even that I took on faith, that someone was representing it truthfully. If I read the Bible and it was a bunch of hocus-pocus, then I'd set it back down and have even more ammunition for future debates. But if not ..... if it wasn't a bunch of hooey ...... then everything would change.

And believe me, it has. Oh how it's changed. And it keeps changing .......

"Faith, fact and proof...

But the cornerstone of these is faith."

More on the most important transitions in my life:

Epiphany #1

Epiphany #2

Epiphany #3

Why People Say, "I Don't Know How to Share My Faith" -- and Why I Don't Believe Them

In the eight years (almost 9!) I have been a follower of Jesus, I have heard many, many people say that they just don't know how to share their faith. In a nutshell, I just have to say that I don't believe that for a minute. Now, if you were to say that you don't know how to lead someone through the scriptures in order to teach them about Jesus and the impact He should have on our daily life, I might believe you a smidgen more - but even with that I think there are too many holes. For starters, do you have a biblical basis for your hope of eternal life? Have you studied the Bible enough to have a simple understanding of what you believe? Well, why couldn't you share that with someone?

Let me start by saying this: I am not judging anyone's heart or saying that they are liars or anything like that. I promise. I am simply saying that too many people have been convinced that sharing Jesus is for a 'select few' people who have a 'special calling' from God and even fewer who have the special pedigree or training in order to follow out their calling. Frankly, that's hooey. There is no biblical basis for those beliefs. "But wait!" you say. "What about the verse that says 'He gave a few to be evangelists'??" Well .... biblically speaking, what is an evangelist? It's someone like the apostle Paul, whose full-time vocation was to travel around doing what we today might call "church planting." (However, I hate to use that term. Our goal is not to plant churches -- our charge is to sow the seed of Jesus, and then God would cause the increase, and to those who turn their lives to God, Jesus would add them to His church. So a church is not the goal - it is a byproduct.) Paul travelled around speaking the Word of God wherever he went. He would sometimes accept money from Christians to support himself, but many times he would work in his tent-making trade so as not to be a burden where he was. I believe the longest he was in one spot was 2-3 years. Hardly what we have today with lifetime professional preachers staying in one spot preaching to believers. But we have accepted this professional clergy mindset, believing that it takes some seminary degree in order to preach. What a divergence with what we see in scripture!! In the New Testament we see that those who stuck by Jesus and learned from Him went everywhere speaking in His Name!!  In fact, when everyday people spoke with the wisdom of Christ, it astonished the hearers. We read, "Now as [the Jewish leaders] observed the confidence of Peter and John and understood that they were uneducated and untrained men, they were amazed, and began to recognize them as having been with Jesus." When you talk, can people recognize that you have been with Jesus? Do we still trust that God's word is our power? "I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes!" We can too often rely on our own wisdom and strength and forget that it is only the gospel & power of God that will convict people's hearts. Not doctorates of theology. Not masters of divinity. The gospel, the whole gospel, and nothing but the gospel.

So if our first hang-up is that we have accepted the false idea of the professional clergy mindset, the second mistake we make is believing that only certain, specially-called people need to be sharing their faith. Yet the NT says, "You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." If we understand that every Christian is a priest and every Christian is part of God's holy people, then we have to also understand that we were each saved in order to proclaim His excellencies. And again, "As for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works." And what about what we all call "The Great Commission?" Do we really believe that is our commission - individually? Do we live our lives and view every interaction with every person in our lives as our opportunity to "go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation?"

Related to the "experienced only need apply" mindset, what about this: do you know someone personally whom you would describe as a person dedicated to sharing Christ & has produced fruit from it? Do you know someone who has a passion for sharing a relationship with Jesus? Would you say they are "good at it?" Well then, have you asked them to teach you how they do it? There is a very real reason I ask this. My husband is known by virtually everyone as a passionate sharer of Christ. He has sown the seed of the kingdom countless times & in countless ways. He lives & breathes to speak of the love of Jesus. Many, many people are now children of God as a direct result of what he has shared with them. Yet, of all the people who have said, "I can't share Christ like you can. I'm no good at it - I just don't know how" -- not one of them have ever asked Danny personally to help them learn. And even those who claim that their one special gift is hospitality (which I still have yet to find in scripture) and that Danny's gift must be teaching, not one of them have come to him and said, "I'm not good at teaching, but I'm good at hosting. So would you mind if I host the people and you come over and teach? Oh, and also, while I'm there with you while you teach, I desire to learn to teach also. Will you help?" If you defined the word "gift" by most people's usage of it, you'd come to see that it's really just a synonym for "comfort zone."

Besides all of that, here is the #1 reason I don't truly believe people who say, "I don't know how to share Christ":

Guys: if you were driving past a car lot and saw this:

What would you do? How excited would you be?? Say you assume (as most of us would) that it was a scam - there's no way something that good would be available that cheap. But you stop in to talk to the salesman anyway. That's when you find out that for only $1 period -- no strings attached -- you can hand over four quarters and drive home a Dodge Viper in mint condition. But then you learn that there is a whole FLEET of these Vipers available -- you can call everyone you know and they too can get a new Viper for only $1!! Let me ask you this, would you know how to tell your friends about this UNBELIEVABLE opportunity??? My guess is, you would. You don't have to have a degree from MIT in mechanics to explain to your friend how awesome this car is. On the odd chance that your friend has never heard of a Dodge Viper, don't you think you'd be able to explain the pure awesomeness of this vehicle??

Now, ladies - (and yes, I realize I am being totally stereotypical here) .... imagine you saw the following advertisement:

Imagine that you hear of a company that provides:

• The planning, prep & clean-up of 3 meals a day, from a custom-made menu of your choice
• Full-service professional house cleaning, done at least once a week
• Professional landscaping and yard maintenance, including fresh-cut flowers & home-grown vegetables on your table daily
• On-call masseuse to relieve the stresses of your day

All of this for the total cost of $1 a year. Period. Would you snatch it up?? What if you then kept reading and saw that the company employs hundreds of workers and can service thousands of homes for the same low price? Would you know how to get every one of your friends on the phone and tell them about this??

Now, guys and gals, imagine that you saw on these advertisements that although there's no limit to how many people can take advantage of this offer -- the offer could cease to be available at any moment. Without notice, the company could stop advertising and the sports car and household services would go back to their regular price, which is way more than you could ever afford. How would you describe your level of urgency to get this message across to all of your friends? How would you tell them not to put off looking into this? Wouldn't you want to tell everyone you could, as fast as you could?

How much more urgency should we have in sharing the Way to receive eternal life? Although Jesus is offering the free gift of His grace, without any notice at all we could be at the end of our life and standing before the Judge, and we will have to explain to Him why His unbelievably good offer was not worth our consideration. And, I also believe that we will have to give an account to Jesus why we were excited to tell our friends about a good sale on laundry detergent at WalMart, but we never told that friend about the free gift of eternal life.

I hope if you're reading this and you too have said, "I don't know how to share my faith," that you don't feel like I'm beating you up or calling you a liar. I really am not. I'm simply trying to help us all take a step back and look at the situation logically. Our job is not to "convince" someone to believe what we believe - our charge is simply to share with them why we believe what we believe. Do you have a reason for your hope? Do you have a changed life? That is what we are supposed to share! Jesus once healed a demon-possessed man and then told the man, "Go and tell what great things the Lord has done for you, and how the Lord had mercy on you." That's all the man knew. Isn't that enough?

My Three Epiphanies - #3

I hope that before you read the rest of this post, you've read Epiphany #1 and Epiphany #2 first. Then this will make a lot more sense. Just to recap, what I am listing in these three posts are the three most important "revelations" in my life. I don't at all mean that these are anything special or unique to me - these truths have been around for thousands of years. Not exactly ground-breaking stuff. But to me, coming to understand these three things have changed everything about my life - and have become much of the foundation upon which everything else in my life is being built.

With my first post, I imagine much of the world agreed with me. The vast majority of this world believes that there is something higher than us - something supernatural going on in the universe. Most people, in fact, probably don't remember a time where they didn't believe that, or where they had to prove that to themselves. Most people have just taken it as a given that there is a god. With my second post I imagine that although many people would agree with me, the number is considerably less than the first post. While most people believe there is some sort of higher power or god, substantially less believe that Jesus is the Son of God. Now, with my third post, I imagine the audience will narrow even more. But here we go anyway.

#3. There is a big difference between a Christian and a Churchan.
As I write this, there is a video going virally around the internet in which a young man explains why he "loves Jesus but hates religion." Frankly, I don't really like the video or agree with it. According to the Bible, you cannot have Jesus without having true religion. That being said, I would wholeheartedly agree that much of what man has turned religion into - even Christianity - does not at all resemble the Christianity that Christ designed. Ironic, huh? So, how do we tell the difference? If it was up to my opinions vs. your opinions, there could and would be endless debate. Thank God we have a definitive source on the topic - the Bible. In the book of James we read, "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world." We also read that is why Sodom was judged so harshly - because they did not do those things! But alas, I am getting sidetracked a bit. (I do that from time to time.) ;-)

So, what is the difference between a Christian and a Churchan, you ask? How can I tell the two apart? Let me give a couple of examples. Be honest as you answer the questions to yourself. If you, being a believer, are having a conversation with another person, which of the following questions are you more likely to ask?

• "What church do you go to?"  -or-
• "Do you know Jesus?"

If you were going to take the conversation to the next level, would you ask:

• "Would you like to come to church with me?" -or-
• "Can I tell you about how Jesus has changed my life?"

Which of the following have you used to 'advertise' your faith:

• "You should come to my church. We are a really loving group of people and have a very active youth group. Our preacher gives really encouraging sermons and we have good, upbeat music." -or-
• "Man, I sure made a mess out of my life and had really hit rock bottom. I can sure relate with where you're at. But thankfully God loves me so much that He sacrificed His own Son, Jesus, so that I could be reconciled to Him. My life has never been better! I sure don't mean that I don't have any problems - I still have all kinds of things I struggle with - but since I have His Spirit in me, I know that Jesus is helping me to change, and I have a promise of a home in heaven with Him."

Be honest. Which of these two options sounds like your conversations? By and large, Christians today preach the church and not Jesus. So why is that a big deal? Jesus said, "If I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all men to Myself." Not only was Jesus talking about being lifted off the ground on a cross, He was talking about what the draw would be: Himself. Jesus is supposed to be who we flock to - not something He created. The church is something Jesus built -- it is a by-product of being in Him. What's an analogy I might use? Maybe marriage. Did you get married because you were in love with the idea of being married, or because you were in love with your spouse? Was being married your goal, or was spending the rest of your life with that special person your goal, and so you got married? The church is no different. Obviously I'm not against marriage - I am married. But that's not why I got married. Similarly, I am in the church [ie the kingdom, not a certain denomination] because I am in love with Jesus. Would I talk to a single person about the benefits of tax exemption and cheaper bills because you can split them with someone, therefore you should get married? Of course not. So why do we skip over Jesus and talk about the church? What has become the draw?

There are many scary consequences of lifting up the church instead of Jesus. For one, we would be guilty of worshiping the created thing instead of the Creator - and we know that doesn't go over well with God. We should be like the apostles and early followers of Christ - we should preach Jesus also. Think about Peter's famous sermon on the day of Pentecost after the ascension of Jesus: did Peter preach the church? Did he preach any of the benefits of the church? Did he ever even talk about the church? No. Through Peter, the Holy Spirit convicted the thousands of listening Jews of their sin and where they stood in relation to God because of it. Once their hearts had been cut because of that, it was the hearers that asked, "Brethren, what shall we do?" Can you hear the pleading in their voice? I can - I've been in the same place! It was only then that Peter told them to repent of their sinful life, be baptized for the forgiveness of their sin, and then he promised they would receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. That's what should be our draw!! Only after we see the 3,000 people obeying the gospel that day is it mentioned that "God was adding daily to the church those who were being saved." Then we see what the church was busy doing.

Here's my final, probably most important thought on this. When we lift up the church instead of lifting up Jesus, we tend to forget who our Master is. We forget who was given ALL authority on heaven and on earth. We can easily start making spiritual decisions based on the will of the church, and not of the will of Jesus. "Well I would never do that," you think. "My allegiance is to Christ." Let me challenge you to really examine that. When faced with a decision of which path you will take, do you first think, "What about the congregation? - The elders would/n't want me to do that. - That decision might alienate some people. - If I do this, not everyone would understand and I'd be on my own."  To whom do we look for guidance? It is easy to start weighing spiritual decisions based on how many people agree and would also do, instead of simply asking, "Is this what Jesus wants me to do?" What if we see a conflict between what elders teach and what Jesus teaches? When elders, for example, teach that sharing our faith is only for a "select few that have a special calling" yet we hear Jesus saying that the entire reason we were saved is to proclaim Him to the world, with whom do we side? Even if the elders aren't corrupt, do you think the Son of God wants to share His glory and authority with another?? (I'm not trying to undermine the guidance of biblical elders - I'm simply trying to ask whether or not we've looked to them to legislate our spiritual decisions.) What if you're faced with the decision on whether or not you will pursue true, biblical worship instead of calling the traditions of man the doctrine of God, and you know that many (most?) will not agree or understand. Some will even dislike you for it. What do you do?

A true disciple of Jesus never considers the consequences before he/she decides whether or not they will obey Jesus.

Through the Spirit my senses are being trained to discern a Christian from a Churchan, and it has become amazingly easy to do so - it's as if a foreign language is interjected in conversations. Listen closely to the content of your spiritual discussions; do you speak of the immeasurable riches of the grace given to you by Jesus, or do you talk about the activities of your church?

More:

Epiphany #1

Epiphany #2

The Faith of an Atheist

Author's note: I sure pray that I can continually add epiphanies to my list. I by no means consider that I "have arrived" or have figured everything out. Far, far from it!! If you know anything about my life, or have even read a few of my posts, you see that the whole point of me listing these epiphanies is to show that I have - and will - change everything in my life if I become convinced I should do so. I am sure not afraid to admit I've been wrong and change course. I pray that God continues to show His truth to me, and that I grow in His wisdom. :-) 

My Three Epiphanies - #2

Welcome back! First of all, I hope you've read Epiphany #1. If not, then #2 won't make as much sense. As I said in the intro to #1, in my life I have had three major epiphanies - major breakthroughs in my thinking and understanding that have changed everything in my life. And I really do mean everything. My first epiphany at the ripe ol' age of 24 was that there is a god. And then ......

Epiphany #2 - Jesus is the Son of God
For many people, they assume that #1 is the same as #2. But let me assure you, there is a wide chasm of understanding between knowing there is a god - some kind of higher power or something supernatural in the universe - and putting a name and character traits to that God. Billions of people in this world believe #1 without believing #2. Many people believe that there are just vague forces of good and evil, that Allah is their god, or they believe in Buddhism, etc etc etc. without that higher power being the man, Jesus Christ. So how did I get from #1 to #2? A lot of research. And an open, seeking heart.

I would say that one of the hardest things when doing any kind of research is to put aside our own preconceived ideas and preferences. At the point in my life where I was between #1 and #2, I was still in much of my old mindset - namely, that religious people had swallowed "the opiate of the masses" and that in order to believe anything as antiquated as the Bible, you had to check all intellect and critical thinking at the door. I mean, that book is a few thousand years old! How in the world could it possibly relate to my life today? And besides, I'd made quite a habit of printing off lists from the internet of "Contradictions in the Bible" and using them to debate people. So don't think for a minute that I had any slant towards the Bible or Christianity! In fact, I think at that point I had given more credence to eastern religions and mysticism. (Which, it's so funny to me what we call an "eastern" religion or a "western" religion. Christianity is seen as a western religion - but why, I have no idea. It was born in Iraq and fulfilled in Israel. Not really what I think of as western society.) Anyway - I at least decided to look into Christianity. While you might hear of people who denounce particular denominations, you very rarely hear of people who turned to Jehovah (the God of the Bible) and regretted it later.

So, I set out to study. I had studied the Book of Mormon (some people very close to me were Mormon). I looked into Buddhism, as well as the native American ideas, etc.. I also decided to read the Bible, just to see what all the fuss was about. While grocery shopping in a superstore, I grabbed a Bible. It was the "So That's Why! Bible" - one that's very textbook-like. I wanted my quest to be intellectual research, and I liked how this particular book tied biblical events and times into "the real world." But, while shopping, I was afraid that people would get the wrong impression of me if they saw me buying a Bible, so I hid it under a case of beer. Every night after work I would crack a beer and crack the Bible. That particular book is laid out chronologically. Soon I would really look forward to my reading time - it was fascinating to me. I would have all my old art history books out, and when I would read about things like the apostle Paul dealing with people who were making shrines to the goddess Artemis, I would flip open my art books and look at photos of the temple of Artemis. Since my background was in art, it helped me make "real-world" correlations, which validated what the Bible was saying. There are other books that claim to be from God that do not have any such validations. The people and places mentioned have never been verified - but not so with the Bible.

The only way I can describe my experience with slowly coming to believe the Bible is that you have to read it to believe it. There's nothing I can say to convince you. And when I say "read it", I mean READ IT. I don't mean to read commentaries on it or summaries of it, or to read bits and portions of it. I mean dedicate to sit down and read it. After all, if it's false, then by reading it you'll only have more ammo against believers, right? (But again, I wholeheartedly believe in "seek and ye shall find" - or in other words, you will find what you look for. If you are only looking for things that don't make sense or things you don't agree with, you'll find plenty. If you are looking objectively at it, you will find an objective truth.) Once I had been reading the Bible for a little while, I easily came to see that the vast majority of so-called contradictions of the Bible were simply misunderstandings or things taken out of context. For example, on many lists of contradictions, you'll see things like "in Genesis 1 it says God was pleased with creation, but in Gen 6 it says He was not pleased. That's a contradiction." Really? First of all, you have to notice that there is quite a difference in the point in time these two comments were made. Most people say over 1,600 years difference. God was pleased with what He had done, but was not pleased with what man had turned His creation into. Big difference. But you'd never get that by reading two verses out of context. When you study the explanations, the contradictions seem trivial at best.

So, now that I had come to believe the Bible, I had to believe what the Bible said about things like the afterlife, the purpose of my life now, what happens to those who follow Christ and those who don't, and whether or not we have an excuse for not believing. I remember as I read the Bible for the first time, I thought, "Well even if I died now I'd be ok, because surely God wouldn't hold me accountable for something I didn't know." Right? Wow, I still remember (almost 9 years later) exactly where I was sitting when I first read, "Since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse." It goes on to talk about no person will ever be able to say that they didn't have enough evidence to believe in God, and we will all be held accountable for that. That's sobering stuff. No wonder I remember that moment 9 years later. We all understand these concepts in ordinary life, but for some reason we won't translate the logic to faith. If I was driving down the freeway doing 90mph and the cop pulled me over, could I get away with telling her that because I didn't read the speed limit sign, I shouldn't get a ticket? Of course not! Yet we act like ignorance of God's Word will somehow be a free pass on the day of judgment.

So where did this all leave me? I now believed there was a higher power at work in the universe. I now knew that higher power was Jehovah, and His Son was Jesus. Not only did Jesus come down from heaven, take the form of a man, live a perfect life to show us the will of God, but he was crucified because of *my* sin and then God raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in heaven. So what? What does that mean for my life? Well, that means everything. Everything changes. My life is no longer under my own control. The only logical thing to do was to submit myself to the God that not only has the power to create everything that has ever been created, but who has the love for me to give His Son as a sacrifice for me. He loved me enough that He would provide a way for me to be forgiven of my sin, be reconciled into a right relationship with Him, and teach me day by day how to live for Him. He would give me His Spirit to dwell inside of me to help me! He knows I am incapable of living holy on my own!! The kindness of God led me to repent of my selfish lifestyle, be baptized for the forgiveness of my sins so that I could be born to a new life full of purpose and hope. Everything changed, and I would never, ever go back to the way things were. Praise God that He has the power - and the love - to change me one day at a time.

to be continued.....

Epiphany #1

Epiphany #3

The Faith of an Atheist

Author's note: I am not trying in one blog entry to convince you that there is a god and that He is Jesus. That's not my job. All I am trying to do is to tell a tiny bit of what happened in my life that led me from being an atheist to where I am now. While I can - and should - give you all the reasons for the hope within me, unless you are willing to seek Him (on His terms), dedicate yourself to the study of His Word and to live whatever is in it, then no little blog entry will change anything. 


Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He exists, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.
Heb 11:6